Category: Bullying

The Cultural Story Behind Family Estrangement

On By LaetitiaIn Bereavement and Grief, Bullying, Cult Behaviour, Divorce, Family Concerns, Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Relationship Matters, Religious Cults, Slander, Gossip and LiesLeave a comment

by Rachel Haack MA MFTI

1. Postmodernism and Critical Theory in the Family System

Postmodernism taught us to question authority and dismantle universal truths. Critical theory taught us to look for oppression and power in every relationship. Both were useful lenses at first, until they became the only lenses.

Today, these frameworks have trickled all the way down into the family, where dynamics are no longer just relational but political.
Parents are recast as oppressors. Children as liberators. Love becomes suspect, and forgiveness looks like betrayal of the self.

Books like Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and online influencers preaching “go no contact” have popularized this moral framework of hierarchy and harm. Once you interpret ordinary imperfection through a lens of oppression, the only moral response becomes disconnection.

2. Social Contagion and the Amplification of Ideas

Before smartphones, ideas spread through communities slowly: by conversation, print, and lived experience. Now they spread virally, without friction or context.

We’ve seen social contagions before: diagnostic trends like “multiple personality disorder” in the 1980s or the surge of “recovered memories.” Today, similar dynamics are playing out around “toxic parents,” “narcissistic mothers,” and “cutoff as healing.”

On TikTok and Instagram, creators share stories of liberation from their families, often rewarded with validation and applause. The more sensational the story, the more viral it becomes. And soon, estrangement itself, especially “no contact”, becomes not just a coping choice but a cultural script.

3. The Portable, Always-Connected World

In 1960, a college student might have called home once a month (collect!).
Letters were the norm. Distance was assumed. Love wasn’t measured in response time.

Now, the digital tether has changed our expectations entirely. Parents and adult children can be in contact multiple times a day, and when they’re not, it feels like something’s wrong.

This 24/7 accessibility has raised the relational temperature for everyone. We’re over-connected, overstimulated, and overwhelmed. Most adults are managing hundreds of micro-relationships through text, email, and social media. The guilt of not keeping up, of failing to “stay in touch”, becomes exhausting. And sometimes, that guilt turns into avoidance or conflict.

We’re living in what I call the age of too much para-connection, where everyone feels both crowded and lonely.

4. Concept Creep, Safetyism, and the Pathologizing of Discomfort

Over the past decade, psychological language has exploded into everyday conversation. Words that once had clinical meaning: trauma, abuse, narcissism, gaslighting, boundaries – are now used casually to describe any form of emotional pain or frustration. Psychologists Nick Haslam and Jonathan Haidt have called this phenomenon concept creep: when the definitions of harm and trauma expand to include ordinary stress, discomfort, and disagreement.

At the same time, a new cultural ideal has emerged, what Haidt and Greg Lukianoff call safetyism. Safety, once meaning freedom from physical danger, now includes freedom from emotional discomfort. To be “safe” means to never feel hurt, anxious, or misunderstood.

This shift sounds compassionate, but it has quietly redefined what we consider harmful. Normal friction in relationships: differences in temperament, misunderstanding, conflict, even the enduring “perpetual problems” that exist in every long-term bond – are now reinterpreted as forms of emotional danger.

When discomfort itself is seen as harm, repair begins to look like self-betrayal. Rather than learning tolerance for relational tension, we pathologize it. And soon, the ordinary pain of loving another imperfect human being starts to feel like something we must protect ourselves from, rather than something we can grow through.

5. The Reinforcement Loop: How Therapy Culture Confirms the Cutoff

This new sensitivity to harm is reinforced by the professionals and influencers shaping our public conversations about relationships. The dominant narrative says that no one cuts off contact with a parent without perfectly good reasons. The logic goes like this: because estrangement feels so unthinkable, it must also be justified.

Therapists and creators often tell their audiences, “You’ve done everything you could,” or “No one goes no contact lightly.” The implicit message is that disconnection is the only rational or healthy conclusion to a long-standing relationship problem.

In clinical spaces, this message is amplified by a moral pressure that runs deep in the helping professions. To challenge a client’s decision to cut off contact is framed as “causing harm.” To explore reconciliation is seen as enabling abuse. Therapists are warned that if we don’t affirm a client’s self-protective decisions, we risk becoming “excusers of abusers.” I receive messages such as “Yikes. This is dangerous.” to an instagram post addressing the nuance of estrangement.

Naturally, that strikes fear into the heart of any well-meaning clinician who wants to do right by their client. To imagine that our empathy could itself cause harm is paralyzing. And so, out of caution, many practitioners stop short of exploring repair or differentiation, even when disconnection may be premature or unnecessary.

What results is a therapeutic culture that affirms estrangement as inherently empowering: but rarely asks whether empowerment might also come from growth, dialogue, or courage in the face of discomfort.

6. The “Pure Relationship” and the Consumer Self

Sociologist Anthony Giddens coined the term the pure relationship—the belief that a relationship’s legitimacy depends on emotional satisfaction alone. It should be warm, mutually beneficial, and affirming at all times.

That idea, combined with our culture’s obsession with optimization, has quietly reshaped our relational ethics. We now evaluate our relationships the way we evaluate products: Does this still serve me? Does this make me happy?

When something feels hard, the impulse isn’t to repair, it’s to replace.
We live in a hyper-individualistic, portable, meritocratic, consumer world. We can move cities, change jobs, and find new communities with a swipe. The result is a growing inability to tolerate the inevitable discomforts of enduring relationships: the very tensions that make us grow up, soften, and mature. We don’t have to learn to live within our village: we can find a new one instead.

Estrangement, in this context, isn’t just a breakdown of love; it’s the logical conclusion of a culture that has made comfort and self-expression the highest virtues.

7. Luxury Beliefs and the New Village of One

Sociologist Rob Henderson coined the term luxury beliefs to describe ideas that signal social status but often carry hidden costs for others. In this context, the belief that cutting off “toxic” family members is always healthy functions like a luxury belief: it’s most easily embraced by those who can afford to lose their families and replace them (often with paid support networks).

Many modern cutoffs occur in families with greater resources, where autonomy is financially feasible. Our standard of living has made it possible to outsource almost every form of relational interdependence. We no longer need the messy village of extended family to survive; we can simply hire one.

If our in-law is irritating, we can pay for childcare.
If our mother’s help feels overwhelming, we can hire a postpartum doula.
If a relationship feels complicated, we can opt for convenience.

In this way, affluence enables avoidance. It allows us to curate our social lives around comfort and control rather than tolerance and reciprocity. The more economically independent we become, the less dependent we are on the people who stretch us.

And sometimes, that independence itself is a gift handed down from the very family being rejected. Many of the young adults now severing ties with parents do so after those same parents helped fund their education, co-signed their first lease, or quietly absorbed the cost of early adulthood. The support that made autonomy possible is later reinterpreted as control. Once financial reliance ends, the relationship can be rewritten through the language of freedom: They can’t control me anymore.

It’s a striking irony of privilege—the estrangement enabled by security. When you no longer need your family to survive, you also lose the incentive to work through what makes them difficult. And so, we drift further into what might be called the luxury of disconnection—a life where we can meet nearly all our needs without ever having to practice forgiveness, patience, or repair.

8. So What Do We Do With All This?

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all of this, to feel like you’re standing in the tide of something too large to resist. You can’t fight the world. You can’t change a culture on your own. You can’t go to battle against the zeitgeist without burning out in despair.

So here’s what I suggest: When things feel big, focus on the small.

You don’t have to fix the world. What we can do is adapt: by creating small, consistent acts of connection with those closest to us. Reorient to your values and live them out in the relationships right in front of you.

If you’re disheartened by the fact that we live in an individualistic, portable, meritocratic, consumer world, start by noticing where that shows up in your own relationships. Begin to reclaim the village around you.

  • Can you stay in relationship when it’s hard?
  • Can you practice forgiveness even when it isn’t reciprocated?
  • Who are you quick to write off—and who might you reach out to instead?

Nobody changes by being lectured into connection. We learn by observation and osmosis. Culture shifts not through argument, but through example.

So ask yourself:

  • Am I making it easier or harder for people to connect with me?
  • Do people feel seen in my presence?
  • Is there one small thing I can do differently in this relationship today?

That’s how change happens—not through revolution, but through micro-shifts. We don’t have to fix a generation or a cultural moment. We just need to live our values with quiet conviction in a world that spins around us.

Because while you can’t stop the tide, you can build something steady enough to stand in it.

 If this resonated with you, share it with someone who’s also trying to make sense of our disconnected age. The more we talk about it—and live differently inside it—the more repair becomes possible. Also, please consider becoming a paid subscriber, as it allows me to keep offering my articles for free to those in need. Thank you!

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False Memory Creation – Parental Alienation

On By LaetitiaIn Bullying, Cult Behaviour, Divorce, Family Concerns, Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Relationship Matters, Religious Cults, Slander, Gossip and LiesLeave a comment

by Sarah Squires

One of the hardest elements of parental alienation is when allegations are made by both
children and parents. Professionals have a duty of care to investigate and gather evidence. But
how reliable are the memories being recalled?
It has long been accepted that false memories exist and there are countless studies which
confirm how easy it is to “implant” a memory (which we will look into later) but for a practitioner
involved in a parental alienation case, it can be hard to identify real from false memories and
therefore recall confabulation can result in prosecution for the “abuser”, possibly jail and
definitely the loss of the relationship with their child.
It is therefore important that we understand what memory is, how it is stored and how false
memories can occur.

What is memory?

Bartlett (1932) describes memory as “imaginative reconstruction” meaning that memories
consist of numerous elements, pieced together and replayed in a format familiar to the teller.
The first two elements are:
● Declarative
● Nondeclarative

Semantic memory refers to the facts involved in the memory which you just know and are not
from personal experience. For example, the names for colours. Craik and Lockhart (1972) found
that complex semantic processing produced better recall than simple semantic processing.
Meaning it’s the details which help with the recall.

Episodic memory refers to the unique experience linked to the time and place in our lives.
Rogers et al (1977) found that episodic memory was more reliable than semantic in recall
situations. Meaning we remember things better which have a personal and emotional
connection to us. A study by Hayne and Imuta (2011) found that by the age of 3, children exhibit
rudimentary episodic memory skills, and that strict reliance on verbal recall may underestimate
their episodic memory ability.

Interestingly, more recent findings have suggested that it is the ability to retain, as opposed to
form, episodic memories that may be the source of the advantage inferred through age in older children, with 3-year-old children demonstrating good retention of episodic recollection across short but not long delays (Scarf et al., 2013).

Nondeclarative memory, also known as procedural memory, is the repository of information
about basic skills, motor (muscular) movement, verbal qualities, visual images, and emotions. It
is our unconscious memory based on what we have been taught and experienced in the world
around us.

Conditioning plays an important role in procedural memory and two main conditioning elements
have been identified: classic and operant.

Classic conditioning theory was developed by Pavlov following experiments with dogs.
He found that you could associate a behaviour to a previously non-associated action
through classic conditioning. He rang a bell and the dogs did not respond. He showed
them food, they salivated (required response). He then gave the food and rang the bell
at the same time, dogs salivated (required response). Finally he rang the bell on it’s own
and the dogs salivated (required response). The dogs had been conditioned to associate
the bell and food.

Operant conditioning was developed by Skinner (1948) and Thorndike (1905). They both
found that animals would repeat the same action if the outcome was pleasant (positive
reinforcement) and would stop an action if the outcome was negative (negative
reinforcement). The animals learnt this through trial and error. This became known as
the “law of effect”

Both are behavioural theories but these responses becomes procedural and so form part of our
long term memory.

In order for memory to be developed, we also need the cognitive abilities to piece it all together.
Jean Piaget (1932) developed 4 cognitive stages of childhood development:

  1. Sensorimotor Stage: Birth through about 2 years. During this stage, children learn about
    the world through their senses and the manipulation of objects.
  2. Preoperational Stage: Ages 2 through 7. During this stage, children develop memory and imagination. They are also able to understand things symbolically, and to understand the ideas of past and future.
  3. Concrete Operational Stage: Ages 7 through 11. During this stage, children become more aware of external events, as well as feelings other than their own. They become less egocentric, and begin to understand that not everyone shares their thoughts, beliefs, or feelings.
  4. Formal Operational Stage: Ages 11 and older. During this stage, children are able to use logic to solve problems, view the world around them, and plan for the future.

“Six-month-olds have a memory span of no more than about 24 hours, which gradually expands
to up to a month by 9 months. In the new study, 13-month-old babies could not remember
events they had witnessed and mimicked four months earlier– a task that came easily to their
elders, ages 21 months and 28 months.”
(https://www.upi.com/Older-children-remember-longer/47801036004400/)

Using this and the previous studies mentioned, we can see how memory develops in children
and the ages at which specific types of memory develop alongside their cognitive and language
abilities.

How false memories can be created

Freud (1923) first identified that likelihood of false memory, naming it confabulation and
reconstruction.
Confabulation is the unintentional manufacturing of information to fill in the missing details
during recall. It’s usual purpose it to make the story more coherent and can occur under
conditions of high motivation or emotion.
In 1997 Coan found that “our recollection of memories can be manipulated and even entire sets
of events can be confabulated”.
Reconstruction involves the distortion of the original memory through a series of filters including
our past experiences, beliefs, schemas and stereotypes.

Elizabeth Loftus and Cara Laney (2013) found that the verbage used to frame a question when
trying to illicit a memory recall can impact false memory recollection. For example, asking “did
you see THE dog?” was more likely to get a false memory recollection than asking “did you see
Adog?”
Nicholas Spanos (1996) found that 50% of participants were led to contrast complex, vivid and
detailed false memories using a process called “guided mnemonic restructuring” which involves
active encouragement.
Loftus and Laney also found that imagination inflation can occur as the more a subject
visualises/images the event, the more “real” it becomes.

In the same paper three key elements which impact the forming of false memory were identified
as:
● social pressure
● encouragement
● individual encouraged not to consider if the memory is true or not

Implications for parental alienation

In studies adults have been shown to be very susceptible to suggestion and manipulation to
create false memories if they are encouraged to by someone they have an interpersonal
relationship with meaning children, who are much more susceptible to their parent’s influence,
could easily “create” memories which they retain through rehearsal.

Attachment System Suppression and Phobic Anxiety Toward a Parent

The child’s symptoms evidence a selective and targeted suppression of the normal-range
functioning of the child’s attachment bonding motivations toward one parent, the
targeted-rejected parent, in which the child seeks to entirely terminate a relationship with this parent (i.e., a child-initiated cut-off in the child’s relationship with a normal-range and affectionally available parent). (Childress 2015)

A child who previously had a positive and secure attachment to the alienated parent, suddenly
hates them and vilifies them for everything they do and have done.

They have no good memories of the alienated parent. The age of the child is important as is
how long the child has been separated from the parent. However, we know that children are
capable of storing and recalling memories from a very young age and so for there to be a
complete absence of any good memories, may suggest manipulation or conditioning. For
example a child could say they love the alienated parent and get shouted at (negative
reinforcement) so they stop saying it and instead say “I hate them” and get rewarded (positive
reinforcement). Following the law of effect, the child would make more negative statements
towards the alienated parent in order to receive more rewards. There is also the added
dimension here of the attachment style of the parent. If they were previously rejecting-neglecting
the child, there is even more motivation for the child to say negative things as they will get their
primary needs met as well.

Fixed False Belief

The child’s symptoms display an intransigently held, fixed and false belief regarding the
fundamental parental inadequacy of the targeted-rejected parent in which the child
characterizes a relationship with the targeted rejected parent as being somehow
emotionally or psychologically “abusive” of the child. While the child may not explicitly
use the term “abusive,” the implication of emotional or psychological abuse is contained
within the child’s belief system and is not warranted based on the assessed parenting
practices of the targeted-rejected parent (which are assessed to be broadly normal
range) (Childress 2015).

In some instances there may be a genuine reason the child feels angry towards the alienated
parent. But the reaction is still disproportionate to the incident which has made them angry. As
an ex child protection social worker I have witnessed contact between abusive parents and their children and in almost all cases, the child will interact with the parent and the relationship will
return to its previous state. Obviously here the age of the child is important though. An
adolescent child may demonstrate more anger due to their increased understanding and their
own interrupted emotional state as they go through puberty. A younger child however, whose
memory is still developing, would struggle to recall memories from over two months ago.
Therefore it is important for practitioners to remember that a child will have both good and bad
memories of the alienated parent. Bad events do not delete good ones. If a child is unable (or
unwilling) to recall positive memories, this could indicate manipulation or conditioning. It may
also be possible that false memories have been implanted and cemented through rehearsal,
ensuring that the child thoroughly believes their accusations.

Splitting

The child evidences polarized extremes of attitude toward the parents, in which the
supposedly “favoured” parent is idealized as the all-good and nurturing parent while the
rejected parent is entirely devalued as the all-bad and entirely inadequate parent.
(Childress 2015)

The child has a very “black and white” view of their parents. One is all good, the other all bad.
No positive qualities can be recalled for the alienated parent and no negative ones for the
alienator.

Memory is very rarely erased (except in amnesia cases) and instead fade over time. So for a
child to be unable (or unwilling) to recall any positive qualities in their parent, suggests that
conditioning has taken place. For example, the alienating parent could classically condition the
child into believing the alienated parent is all bad by associating all bad memories with that
parent. “We can’t go on holiday this year because of your mother/father”. If this process is
repeated often enough, the child will be conditioned to believe the alienated parent is all bad.
Diversely, the alienating parent will be telling the child that they are the only one who loves them
and understands them, conditioning the child to see them as all good.

Role-Reversal Dynamic

In alienation, a child’s psychological boundaries may be compromised, and differentiation
from that parent may not occur. Instead, the child becomes infused with the mindset of the
pathogenic parent and alienated from the normal-range parent through covert psychological
manipulation on the part of the pathogenic parent. (Childress 2015)

The child will adamantly deny that anyone has influenced their decision.
Again, age will be an important factor here. Does the child have the cognitive ability (as outlined
above) to make these statements? Do they understand the consequences? It is therefore
important the practitioner explores the child’s understanding of what the statements mean and
uses memory recall exercises to confirm this. For example, a child who states that they have
decided they never want to see their parent again could be asked “what about at Christmas? Do
you not want a present from them?” and explore “what did you get from them last year?”. Future
and past tense exercises can help bypass the possibility of false memories because it is unlikely
(and impossible) for someone to have rewritten their entire history or talked about the future with
the child.

Absence of Empathy

The child displays a complete absence of empathy for the emotional pain being inflicted
on the targeted-rejected parent by the child’s hostility and rejection of this parent.
(Childress 2015)

The child will feel justified in their actions and cold towards the alienated parent.
According to Erikson’s Psychosocial (1950, 1963) stage theory, around age three and
continuing to age five, children assert themselves more frequently. They will play independently,
make up games and and initiate activities with others. This is the Initiative v’s Guilt stage.
Therefore it is important when a child is expressing that they are using their own initiative, that this behaviour is observed in other settings as well. Does the demonstrate the ability to think
independently about other subjects? Any inconsistency may suggest manipulation.

Grandiosity

The child displays a grandiose perception of occupying an inappropriately elevated
status in the family hierarchy that is above the targeted-rejected parent from which the
child feels empowered to sit in judgment of the targeted-rejected parent as both a parent
and as a person. (Childress 2015)

The child will always side with the alienating parent. The child does not want to hear the
alienated parent’s point of view.

This demonstrates elements of concrete thinking. i.e. seeing something as fixed and certain. It
is evident in very young children but as children age they begin to develop logical and
eventually abstract thinking as well (see Piaget’s development stages above). The absence of
logical thinking, which would be developmentally appropriate for their age, suggests either
developmental delay or manipulation.

Transgenerational Trauma and the Trauma Reenactment

This is the process by which differentiation between family members across generations
affects individuals and their personal differentiation process. The transmission occurs on
several levels involving both conscious teaching and unconscious programming of
emotional responses and behaviors. Due to the intricacies of the relationship dynamics,
some children develop more of a differentiated “self” than others. (Childress 2015)

The child may make accusations against the alienated parent which phrases and scenarios
which are inappropriate for their age. For example, a child might say “I hate mum/dad because
they made us homeless” but when you ask them what homeless means they have no
understanding of it.

Whilst not all allegations are false, those which use language which isn’t congruent with the
child’s natural speech, would suggest that false memories have been implanted. As outlined in
the above section on “how false memories are implanted”, this is relatively easy to do and
children will be highly sensitive to this kind of manipulation from a caregiver. Especially if it is
coupled with condition behaviours.

Avoidance of Parent

The child seeks to avoid exposure to the targeted parent due to the situationally
provoked anxiety or else endures the presence of the targeted parent with great distress.
“Childress 2015)

Anyone associated with the alienated parent will be rejected by the child for little or no reason.
Using Erikson’s psychosocial development model again, the crisis of trust vs mistrust occurs
during the first year or so of life. During this stage, the infant is uncertain about the world in
which they live. To resolve these feelings of uncertainty, the infant looks towards their caregivers
for stability and consistency of care. This forms the attachment.

Initially Bowlby (1969) believed that a child formed one primary attachment which superseded
all others. However later research has shown that children form multiple quality attachments to a
range of caregivers, including grandparents, aunts and uncles (Furnivall 2011). Therefore it is
important when a child is rejecting whole families or those associated with alienated parent, that
a practitioner explores early attachment and experiences with the wider family through taking
family history. The child is unlikely to have forgotten those experiences and, unless severe
abuse has taken place, it is unlikely the memories have been repressed. Therefore the child
may have been conditioned and manipulated into “forgetting”.

Conclusion

Both memory and parental alienation are complex theories and we have to draw upon many
additional theories in order to give a comprehensive picture of what is going on. However I hope
that this paper has demonstrated the important role that memory and memory manipulation
plays in parental alienation syndrome and provided some practical advice on what to look for.

False Memories by Sarah Squires

My comments – Although this article speaks of younger children, adult children can also act this way towards a targeted parent, creating false memories about them due to the manipulation and conditioning from the favoured parent. I have had contact with thousands of mothers who are experiencing this.

A Daughter’s Jealousy of her Mother

On By LaetitiaIn Bullying, Family Concerns, Friends, Enemies and 'Frenemies', Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Relationship Matters, Slander, Gossip and LiesLeave a comment

Unravelling the complex psychology by Neuro Launch Editorial Team.

A daughter’s jealousy towards her mother is a complex emotional quagmire that can shatter the very foundation of their relationship, leaving both women grappling with the painful aftermath. This intricate psychological phenomenon is far more common than many realize, silently wreaking havoc on countless mother-daughter bonds across the globe. As we delve into the murky waters of this familial struggle, we’ll uncover the hidden currents that drive this jealousy and explore the ripple effects it has on the entire family unit.

The green-eyed monster of jealousy doesn’t discriminate based on age or relationship status. It can rear its ugly head in the most unexpected places, even within the sacred bond between a mother and her daughter. This particular brand of envy is a unique beast, often rooted in a complex web of emotions, experiences, and unmet needs that have been festering for years, if not decades.

To truly grasp the gravity of this issue, we must first acknowledge its prevalence. While exact statistics are hard to come by (after all, who readily admits to being jealous of their own mother?), anecdotal evidence and clinical observations suggest that daughter-mother jealousy is far from rare. It’s a silent epidemic that often goes unspoken, hidden behind forced smiles and tense family gatherings.

Understanding the underlying psychology of this jealousy is crucial not only for the individuals directly involved but for the health of the entire family system. The mother-daughter relationship is often considered one of the most influential and formative bonds in a person’s life. When jealousy infiltrates this relationship, it can have far-reaching consequences that extend well beyond the two individuals involved.

Before we dive deeper, it’s worth briefly touching on the concept of the Electra complex, a psychological theory that provides some context for understanding daughter-mother jealousy. Coined by Carl Jung, this theory suggests that young girls may develop an unconscious attraction to their fathers and rivalry with their mothers. While modern psychology has largely moved away from such rigid interpretations, the concept still offers a useful framework for exploring the complex dynamics at play in mother-daughter relationships.

Root Causes of Daughter’s Jealousy Towards Mother

To truly unravel the tangled web of a daughter’s jealousy towards her mother, we need to examine the various threads that contribute to this complex emotion. Like a tapestry woven from different coloured yarns, each strand represents a unique factor that, when combined, creates the full picture of this psychological phenomenon.

One of the primary threads in this tapestry is the developmental stages and psychological theories that underpin human growth and relationships. As children progress through various stages of development, their relationship with their parents naturally evolves. For daughters, the mother often serves as both a role model and a source of comparison. This dual role can sometimes lead to feelings of inadequacy or competition, especially during adolescence and early adulthood when daughters are struggling to establish their own identities.

Another crucial thread is the competition for attention and affection, particularly within the family unit. In some cases, daughters may feel that they’re constantly vying for their father’s attention, with their mother as the perceived “rival.” This dynamic can be especially pronounced in families where the father is emotionally distant or where the mother-father relationship is particularly strong. The daughter may feel left out or overshadowed, leading to feelings of jealousy towards her mother.

Unresolved childhood issues form yet another significant strand in this complex weave. Early experiences of neglect, favoritism towards siblings, or perceived lack of maternal warmth can leave lasting scars that manifest as jealousy in adulthood. These unresolved issues can fester over time, coloring the daughter’s perception of her mother and their relationship.

Lastly, we can’t ignore the thread of the mother’s perceived success or attractiveness. In a society that often pits women against each other and places a high value on youth and beauty, daughters may find themselves feeling inadequate when comparing themselves to their mothers. This is particularly true if the mother is seen as successful, attractive, or accomplished in areas where the daughter feels she falls short.

It’s important to note that these root causes often intertwine and overlap, creating a complex psychological landscape that can be challenging to navigate. Understanding these underlying factors is crucial for both mothers and daughters seeking to address and overcome feelings of jealousy.

Signs and Manifestations of Daughter’s Jealousy

Jealousy, like a chameleon, can take on many forms and hues. When it comes to a daughter’s jealousy towards her mother, the manifestations can range from subtle to glaringly obvious. Recognizing these signs is the first step towards addressing the issue and healing the relationship.

One of the most common ways jealousy rears its head is through verbal and non-verbal expressions. A jealous daughter might make snide remarks about her mother’s appearance, achievements, or relationships. These comments often come disguised as “jokes” or backhanded compliments, leaving the mother feeling confused and hurt. Non-verbally, a daughter might roll her eyes, sigh heavily, or display other body language that conveys disapproval or resentment towards her mother.

Competitive behavior and one-upmanship are also telltale signs of underlying jealousy. The daughter might constantly try to outdo her mother, whether it’s in terms of career achievements, personal relationships, or even something as trivial as cooking skills. This constant need to prove herself “better” than her mother often stems from deep-seated insecurities and a desire for validation.

In more severe cases, a jealous daughter might attempt to undermine her mother’s relationships. This could involve trying to drive a wedge between her mother and father, or sabotaging her mother’s friendships. The daughter might spread gossip, reveal secrets, or manipulate situations to make her mother look bad in the eyes of others. This behaviour is particularly destructive as it not only damages the mother-daughter relationship but also affects the entire family dynamic.

Excessive criticism or resentment towards the mother is another clear indicator of jealousy. The daughter might find fault with everything her mother does, from her parenting style to her choice of clothes. This constant criticism often masks the daughter’s own insecurities and serves as a defense mechanism to protect her fragile self-esteem.

It’s worth noting that these manifestations of jealousy can vary greatly in intensity and frequency. Some daughters might exhibit only mild signs of jealousy, while others might display more extreme behaviors. Understanding these signs is crucial for both mothers and daughters to recognize the issue and take steps towards resolving it.

Impact on Family Dynamics and Relationships

The ripple effects of a daughter’s jealousy towards her mother can be far-reaching, impacting not just their immediate relationship but the entire family ecosystem. Like a stone thrown into a pond, the waves of this complex emotion can disturb even the most seemingly stable family dynamics.

First and foremost, the strain on the mother-daughter bond can be immense. What should be a nurturing, supportive relationship can become a battleground of unspoken resentments and hurt feelings. The natural ebb and flow of sharing, caring, and mutual growth that characterizes healthy mother-daughter bonds can be severely disrupted. This strain can lead to emotional distance, communication breakdowns, and a loss of trust between mother and daughter.

But the impact doesn’t stop there. Other family members often find themselves caught in the crossfire of this emotional turmoil. Fathers may feel torn between their wife and daughter, unsure of how to navigate the tension without taking sides. Siblings might feel neglected as the family’s emotional energy becomes consumed by the mother-daughter conflict. In some cases, they may even be pressured to choose sides, further fracturing family unity.

The long-term consequences for the daughter’s personal relationships can be particularly profound. The patterns of jealousy, competition, and resentment learned in the relationship with her mother can spill over into other areas of her life. She may struggle to form healthy relationships with other women, viewing them as potential rivals rather than allies. In romantic relationships, she might grapple with trust issues or constantly compare herself to her partner’s mother, creating unnecessary tension.

Perhaps most insidiously, these patterns of jealousy can become intergenerational. A daughter who has a jealous relationship with her mother may unknowingly pass on these unhealthy dynamics to her own children. This can create a cycle of strained mother-daughter relationships that persists across generations, each woman unwittingly recreating the painful patterns she experienced with her own mother.

It’s crucial to recognize that while the impact of this jealousy can be severe, it’s not insurmountable. With awareness, effort, and often professional help, families can work to break these destructive patterns and forge healthier, more supportive relationships.

Psychological Approaches to Understanding and Addressing the Issue

To truly grasp the complexity of a daughter’s jealousy towards her mother, we need to don our psychological detective hats and explore various theoretical perspectives. Each approach offers a unique lens through which we can view this intricate emotional landscape, providing valuable insights for understanding and addressing the issue.

Let’s start with the psychoanalytic perspective, which delves deep into the murky waters of the unconscious mind. This approach, rooted in Freudian theory, might suggest that daughter-mother jealousy is a manifestation of unresolved Oedipal conflicts. The daughter, according to this view, may be unconsciously competing with her mother for her father’s attention and affection. While modern psychology has moved away from such rigid interpretations, this perspective still offers valuable insights into the deep-seated nature of these jealous feelings.

Cognitive-behavioral insights, on the other hand, focus more on the thought patterns and behaviors associated with jealousy. This approach would examine the daughter’s beliefs about herself, her mother, and their relationship. It might identify negative thought patterns or cognitive distortions that fuel jealous feelings. For instance, a daughter might engage in “all-or-nothing” thinking, perceiving her mother as either perfect or terrible, with no middle ground. By recognizing and challenging these thought patterns, the daughter can begin to develop a more balanced and realistic view of her mother and their relationship.

Attachment theory provides yet another valuable perspective on mother-daughter jealousy. This theory, developed by John Bowlby, emphasizes the importance of early bonding experiences in shaping later relationships. A daughter who experienced inconsistent or insecure attachment with her mother in childhood might struggle with jealousy and insecurity in their adult relationship. Understanding these attachment patterns can provide crucial insights into the root causes of jealousy and guide strategies for healing.

The family systems approach broadens our view even further, considering how jealousy fits into the larger family dynamic. This perspective recognizes that individual behaviors and emotions don’t exist in isolation but are part of a complex family system. A daughter’s jealousy towards her mother might be seen as a symptom of broader family issues, such as unclear boundaries, unresolved conflicts, or dysfunctional communication patterns.

Each of these psychological approaches offers valuable tools for understanding and addressing daughter-mother jealousy. By integrating insights from multiple perspectives, we can develop a more comprehensive understanding of this complex issue and craft more effective strategies for resolution.

Strategies for Resolving Mother-Daughter Jealousy

Now that we’ve explored the roots and manifestations of daughter-mother jealousy, it’s time to roll up our sleeves and dive into some practical strategies for resolving this thorny issue. Like untangling a knotted necklace, addressing jealousy requires patience, persistence, and a delicate touch.

First and foremost, open communication is key. It’s crucial for both mother and daughter to create a safe space where they can express their feelings honestly and without fear of judgment. This might involve setting aside dedicated time for heart-to-heart conversations, free from distractions. During these talks, both parties should practice active listening, truly hearing each other’s perspectives without immediately jumping to defend or explain. Remember, the goal is understanding, not winning an argument.

Setting healthy boundaries is another crucial step in resolving jealousy. Both mother and daughter need to recognize and respect each other’s individuality and personal space. This might involve establishing clear guidelines about topics that are off-limits, or agreeing on how much involvement each person should have in the other’s life. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re fences with gates that allow for healthy interaction while maintaining personal autonomy.

In many cases, professional help can be invaluable in navigating the complex terrain of mother-daughter jealousy. Individual therapy can help each person work through their own issues and insecurities, while family therapy can address the dynamics of the relationship itself. Jealousy in child psychology often has roots in early experiences, and a skilled therapist can help uncover and heal these underlying wounds.

Building self-esteem and self-worth is crucial for both mother and daughter. Often, jealousy stems from feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. By focusing on personal growth and self-improvement, both women can develop a stronger sense of self that’s less dependent on comparison or competition with each other. This might involve pursuing hobbies, setting personal goals, or engaging in self-care practices that boost confidence and self-worth.

Finally, fostering mutual respect and appreciation can go a long way in healing a jealousy-strained relationship. Both mother and daughter should make a conscious effort to acknowledge and celebrate each other’s strengths and achievements. This doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. Rather, it’s about cultivating a mindset of gratitude and recognition for the positive aspects of their relationship and each other’s unique qualities.

Remember, resolving mother-daughter jealousy is not a quick fix but a journey. It requires commitment, patience, and often a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about oneself and the relationship. But with persistence and the right strategies, it’s possible to transform a relationship marred by jealousy into one of mutual support and love.

In conclusion, the complex psychology of a daughter’s jealousy towards her mother is a challenging terrain to navigate. We’ve explored the root causes, from developmental stages and competition for affection to unresolved childhood issues and societal pressures. We’ve examined the various ways this jealousy can manifest, from subtle criticisms to outright attempts to undermine relationships. We’ve also delved into the far-reaching impact this jealousy can have on family dynamics and personal relationships.

Through the lens of various psychological approaches, we’ve gained a deeper understanding of the intricate emotional landscape that underlies this jealousy. From psychoanalytic insights to cognitive-behavioral strategies, attachment theory to family systems approaches, each perspective offers valuable tools for addressing this issue.

Most importantly, we’ve outlined practical strategies for resolving mother-daughter jealousy, emphasizing the importance of open communication, healthy boundaries, professional help when needed, building self-esteem, and fostering mutual respect and appreciation.

It’s crucial to remember that addressing jealousy in the mother-daughter relationship is not just about fixing a single issue. It’s about laying the foundation for healthier, more fulfilling relationships across all aspects of life. By tackling this challenge head-on, both mothers and daughters can break free from destructive patterns and create a new paradigm of mutual support and understanding.

If you find yourself grappling with jealousy in your mother-daughter relationship, know that you’re not alone. Many women face similar struggles, and there’s no shame in seeking help. Whether through self-help resources, support groups, or professional therapy, taking steps to address this issue can lead to profound personal growth and stronger, more authentic relationships.

Remember, the journey to resolve mother-daughter jealousy may be challenging, but the rewards – a deeper connection, greater self-understanding, and healthier relationships overall – are well worth the effort. After all, the bond between a mother and daughter has the potential to be one of the most beautiful and nurturing relationships in life. By addressing jealousy head-on, you’re not just healing a single relationship; you’re paving the way for generations of healthier, happier mother-daughter bonds.

Neuro Launch



Sold a Lie – How do you spot A Cult

On By LaetitiaIn Bullying, Cult Behaviour, Family Concerns, Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Religious Cults, Sexual Abuse, Slander, Gossip and Lies, SuicideLeave a comment

Psychotherapist Gillie Jenkinson in helping people who have left cults.

Shola Lee – BBC News

  • 2 August 2025

For seven years of her twenties, Gillie Jenkinson was in a religious cult. She recalls being told what to eat, when to sleep and what clothes to wear.

“It was completely coercive, controlling,” she says, going on to add that the group operated from an “ordinary” looking terraced house.

She remembers giving all of her money to the group, believing it would go towards their mission of “saving the world”.

“None of that happened, we didn’t save anybody or do anything with it, but you’re sold a lie,” she explains.

After leaving the cult, she sought mental health support to help process her experiences but she was unable to find any trained therapist with experience in helping cult survivors.

In the end, she decided to train as a therapist herself and has now been practising for around 30 years, specialising in helping people who have left cults.

This led her to appear in the two-part BBC documentary Inside the Cult of the Jesus Army, which sees her work with people brought up in the now-defunct religious cult to recognise cult dynamics and identify the group’s impact on them.

The BBC revealed allegations of widespread child abuse in the group, which disbanded in 2019.

The Jesus Fellowship Community Trust, which has been winding up the group’s affairs, said it was sorry for “the severely detrimental impact” on people’s lives.

Speaking to the BBC, Jenkinson explains how to recognise a cult and why more support is needed for those who leave.

How do you spot a cult?

“It’s not always easy to identify a cult,” Jenkinson says, explaining that there isn’t one type of person that joins a cult, they don’t dress a certain way and they can operate from “ordinary” houses.

The Family Survival Trust (FST), a charity that offers support to those affected by cults, defines a cult as a system controlled by a charismatic and authoritarian leadership that is “rigidly bounded” and supported by a fixed set of beliefs. It involves brainwashing designed to isolate, control and exploit followers.

Cults do not have to be religious. Linguist Amanda Montell, author of Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism, explains people can “erect a cult around anything, as long as you can inject it with fear and an ‘us-versus-them’ mentality”.

Montell adds that these groups don’t even have to take place in person anymore and says they are becoming “easier” to find because of the internet, adding “so many cults do their recruiting online”.

While cults can be hard to spot, Jenkinson and Montell note some “red flags” people can look for:

  • One possible indicator Jenkinson highlights is “love bombing” – a manipulation tactic that sees abusers use affection and declarations of love as a way of gaining power and control.
  • Another common theme is promising “answers to life’s very complex problems”, like climate change or the meaning of existence, the psychotherapist adds.
  • Montell says the combination of mantras, buzzwords and nicknames for insiders and outsiders of the group, as well as language that elicits a strong reaction while encouraging us not to ask further questions, can be indicators.
  • The linguist adds that certain texts being “off-limits” in the group can also be a warning sign.
  • The most “extreme” trait of a cult for Montell is a “high barrier to exit”, meaning group members being made to feel they might lose their identity or friendships, or fear retaliation, if they leave the group.

What can you do if you think you’re in a cult?

Jenkinson encourages people to listen to their “gut feeling” if they think something is wrong, to listen to critical voices and to investigate the group online. “It might save you years of pain,” the psychotherapist says.

Jenkinson also strongly discourages relatives from giving a group money because it likely won’t go to their loved one. However, she encourages family and friends to keep lines of communication open and to ask “genuine, critical thinking questions”.

However, Jenkinson says greater support and understanding is needed for people who have left cults, explaining: “it needs destigmatising because people need help when they come out”.

She adds that there should be provision within the NHS to offer specialist counselling for those leaving cults.

A spokesperson for the Departmentof Health and Social Care says as part of its 10-year health plan it “will increase access to talking therapies to support patients”.

Jenkinson adds that changes to the law are “desperately” needed to protect those in cults. Currently in England and Wales, coercive control is illegal in intimate or family relationships. However, Jenkinson says this needs to be extended to include the coercive control that occurs in groups like cults.

A spokesperson for the Ministry of Justice says: “Cult leaders can already be prosecuted for a number of offences including fraud, false imprisonment or harassment.”

  • Details of organisations offering information and support with sexual abuse or child abuse are available at the BBC’s Action Line.

When Someone is Lying and You Know the Truth

On By LaetitiaIn Bullying, Cult Behaviour, Divorce, Family Concerns, Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Relationship Matters, Slander, Gossip and Lies, Understanding AutismLeave a comment

by Chuck Orwell

There’s something universally relatable about the moment when someone lies to your face, and you know the truth. Whether it’s a little white lie or something more sinister, it can be both frustrating and oddly amusing. If you’ve ever found yourself in such a situation, these “when someone is lying and you know the truth quotes” are here to help you find the right words to express that mix of exasperation, clarity, and even humour.

Below, I’ve compiled 75 unique quotes for those moments when the truth is on your side, but the person in front of you is… well, not being entirely honest.

Truth Always Prevails: Quotes for When Lies Can’t Hide

1. “The truth doesn’t change just because someone chooses not to believe it.”
Even when someone is lying, the truth is like gravity—it’s always there, whether they acknowledge it or not.

2. “Lies may sprint, but truth always finishes the marathon.”
Lies can give someone a head start, but the truth? It always catches up.

3. “Their words are paper-thin; the truth is ironclad.”
When someone lies, it often feels flimsy compared to the solid reality you know.

4. “I might stay quiet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see through the facade.”
Sometimes the best way to handle a liar is to let them keep talking, knowing you’re steps ahead.

5. “A lie might be easier, but the truth has more endurance.”
Lies may provide temporary relief, but the truth is built to last.

Busted: Quotes for When You Know They’re Lying

6. “You can tell me whatever you want, but the truth is already sitting next to me.”
It’s like having an invisible friend—the truth—who’s always there, quietly shaking their head.

7. “It’s cute how they think their lie is convincing.”
Sometimes, the lie is so bad, it’s almost adorable.

8. “Your story is full of plot holes, and I’ve already read the ending.”
Lies are like poorly written novels—you can spot the gaps a mile away.

9. “If only they knew how obvious their lie looks from the outside.”
Liars tend to underestimate how transparent they are.

10. “I’m not sure what’s funnier—the lie or the fact they think I believe it.”
Let’s be honest, sometimes it’s just funny how far someone will go to try and deceive you.

The Power of Silence: Quotes for Quietly Knowing the Truth

11. “Silence is golden when the truth speaks louder than lies ever could.”
Sometimes, saying nothing is the best response when you know the truth.

12. “I don’t need to argue with you; the truth already has the final word.”
There’s no need for a back-and-forth when the truth is undeniable.

13. “They speak lies, I speak with my silence.”
Your silence can be more powerful than their tangled web of deception.

14. “Knowing the truth but choosing not to say it is its own kind of power.”
Holding onto the truth and letting the lie float around can give you a quiet strength.

15. “I’ve said nothing, but I know everything.”
There’s something empowering about knowing the truth and just letting them dig deeper.

Lies Have Short Legs: Quotes About the Inevitable Exposure of Lies

16. “Lies are like snowflakes—they melt under the heat of the truth.”
Lies can’t withstand the warmth of honesty.

17. “The truth might take its time, but when it arrives, it demands attention.”
It might be slow, but the truth always makes a grand entrance.

18. “Your lie might be quick, but the truth has stamina.”
Lies are sprinters, but truth? That’s a marathon runner.

19. “Lies fade, truth remains.”
The simple fact is: the truth is always left standing after the dust of lies settles.

20. “A lie might dress itself up, but the truth doesn’t need a costume.”
Lies often try to appear more than they are, but the truth is effortlessly itself.

Calling Out the Lies: Quotes for When You Want to Confront Them

21. “You can lie to me, but you can’t lie to the truth.”
The truth doesn’t care if someone lies—it’s still there.

22. “I see your lie, and I raise you the truth.”
If lies were a poker game, you’d be sitting there with a royal flush of truth.

23. “Lying is a short-term solution for a long-term problem called ‘truth.’”
Lies may feel like quick fixes, but the truth is the permanent answer.

24. “Every time you lie, the truth grows stronger.”
The more lies you tell, the bigger the truth becomes.

25. “You can keep lying, but the truth and I have all the time in the world.”
No matter how long they lie, the truth is patient.

The Subtle Art of Knowing: Quotes for Quiet Confidence in the Truth

26. “I’ll let them keep lying, while I enjoy the truth in peace.”
There’s a certain calm that comes with knowing the truth, even as someone tries to deceive you.

27. “They’re playing checkers while I’m sitting with the truth’s chessboard.”
When you know the truth, it feels like you’re a step ahead in a more complex game.

28. “The truth gives me a kind of quiet that lies never could.”
Lies create noise, but the truth brings peace.

29. “I’m not here to expose the lie—I’ll let the truth do that for me.”
The truth often reveals itself without you having to lift a finger.

30. “I’ve got the truth on speed dial, and it always picks up.”
When you know the truth, you’re never far from the facts.

Truth Hurts: Quotes for When the Lie Isn’t Fooling Anyone

31. “Their lie hurts less than knowing they think I’d believe it.”
Sometimes, it’s the insult to your intelligence that stings the most.

32. “The truth might sting, but lies are like paper cuts—they hurt longer.”
Lies often hurt in small, persistent ways.

33. “They’re lying, and I’m already cringing at their attempt.”
Sometimes, you can’t help but feel secondhand embarrassment for the person lying.

34. “Lies feel like the pebbles in your shoe—annoying, but easily removed.”
Once you know the truth, lies become minor irritations.

35. “I see the lie before it even leaves their lips.”
It’s like watching a bad movie you’ve already seen—predictable and unimpressive.

Trust and Deception: Quotes for When You Know the Truth Hurts More Than the Lie

36. “Trust is fragile—one lie can shatter it.”
The truth has a weight that lies simply can’t hold.

37. “Lies are the termites of trust—they gnaw at it until it collapses.”
Lies eat away at trust, slowly but surely.

38. “The real betrayal is not the lie, but believing I wouldn’t know the truth.”
It’s not just the lie itself, but the assumption you wouldn’t catch on that feels hurtful.

39. “The truth is a mirror, and your lies can’t break it.”
No matter how hard someone tries to distort reality, the truth remains unbroken.

40. “Lies live in the shadows, but the truth always steps into the light.”
Lies can only survive when hidden, while truth thrives in the open.

Humorous Take on Lies: Because Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh

41. “I’ve seen better acting in high school plays.”
Let’s be honest—some lies are just badly delivered.

42. “If lying was an Olympic sport, you’d still lose.”
Not everyone’s cut out for deception, and that’s painfully obvious sometimes.

43. “Your lie has more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese.”
And they thought it was solid? Bless their heart.

44. “I’d believe your lie if it weren’t for all the facts.”
Facts have a funny way of ruining a good lie, don’t they?

45. “Congratulations, you’ve just won the award for ‘Worst Lie Ever.’”
Some lies are so bad, they deserve a prize. Not a good one, though.

When the Lie is Obvious: Quotes for When the Truth is Plain as Day

46. “Your lie is as clear as the sky on a sunny day.”
There’s no clouding the truth.

47. “I’d pretend to believe you, but I’m a terrible actor.”
No need to fake it when the truth is glaringly obvious.

48. “Their lie is a work of fiction, but I’m not buying the book.”
It’s one thing to tell a tall tale, but don’t expect everyone to believe it.

49. “The only person you’re fooling is yourself.”
When the lie is this obvious, it’s clear who’s really in denial.

50. “Lies are easy to spot when you’ve got a map of the truth.”
Knowing the truth is like having a guidebook to spot all the detours.

Truth Wins: Quotes for When You’re Waiting for the Truth to Come Out

51. “The truth is like water—it finds a way to surface.”
Even if it takes time, the truth always comes out.

52. “Lies are temporary; the truth is forever.”
Lies might feel powerful in the moment, but the truth outlasts them.

53. “I don’t need to chase the truth—it’s coming for you.”
The truth is on its way, and it won’t be kind to the lie.

54. “Every lie is a ticking time bomb, and the truth is the clock.”
Eventually, the truth always blows up the lie.

55. “The truth doesn’t need an invitation to show up.”
It’s going to make an appearance, whether someone is ready for it or not.

The Inevitable Fall of Lies: Quotes for When the Truth is Close

56. “Lies crumble under the weight of the truth.”
Eventually, the truth just crushes the lie into dust.

57. “A house built on lies is destined to collapse.”
Lies can’t form a solid foundation, and the truth will tear it down.

58. “Their lie is a castle made of sand—the truth is the incoming tide.”
It’s only a matter of time before the truth washes it all away.

59. “The truth is the sword that cuts through the web of lies.”
Lies can be intricate, but the truth slices through it all.

60. “Every lie digs a deeper hole—the truth is the ladder out.”
The more they lie, the deeper they get, but only the truth can save them.

For the Smug Satisfaction of Knowing: Quotes for the Ultimate Truth Moment

61. “I’m just waiting for the truth to do its thing.”
Sit back, relax, and let the truth handle it.

62. “Lies are the prelude, but the truth is the headline act.”
Lies might open the show, but the truth is what everyone really came for.

63. “You can’t outrun the truth, no matter how fast you lie.”
Lies might give them a head start, but the truth is catching up.

64. “The truth is patient—it waits while lies try to steal the show.”
The truth doesn’t rush. It knows it’s got the final say.

65. “Lies are cheap entertainment; the truth is priceless.”
Lies might be fun for a minute, but the truth is the real treasure.

The Art of Letting Them Think They’re Fooling You: Quotes for Quiet Satisfaction

66. “I’ll let them have their lie, for now.”
Sometimes it’s more fun to let someone think they’re fooling you—until they aren’t.

67. “I’m not calling them out just yet; the truth will do that for me.”
No need to rush—the truth always comes out in due time.

68. “They’re playing checkers, and I’m waiting for them to realize it’s chess.”
When you know the truth, you’re operating on a whole different level.

69. “I’m giving them enough rope to hang their own lie.”
Let them keep lying—they’re only setting themselves up for a fall.

70. “It’s funny how lies are loud, but the truth whispers in your ear.”
Lies often scream for attention, while the truth is calmly waiting to be heard.

Final Moments of Truth: Quotes for the Big Reveal

71. “The truth doesn’t knock—it kicks the door down.”
When the truth finally comes out, it doesn’t tiptoe.

72. “Lies unravel, and the truth wraps it all up.”
When the truth finally comes out, everything else falls into place.

73. “Their lie was a detour, but the truth always brings you home.”
Lies might take you off course, but the truth will get you back on track.

74. “The truth might be late, but it never no-shows.”
It may take time, but the truth always arrives eventually.

75. “Lies wither in the light of the truth.”
Like plants without sunlight, lies can’t survive once the truth shines through.

Conclusion: When You Know the Truth, Lies Have No Power

The satisfaction of knowing the truth when someone is lying to you is undeniable. It gives you the upper hand, the quiet confidence, and sometimes, a good laugh. These 75 quotes remind us that while lies can be annoying, the truth is always worth waiting for. Whether you choose to confront the lie or simply enjoy knowing the truth, these quotes will help you capture that moment of clarity.

1. How do you deal with someone lying to you when you know the truth?
Sometimes, the best approach is to stay calm and let the truth unfold naturally. Confronting the lie head-on isn’t always necessary—patience can be powerful.

2. What should I do when someone lies to my face?
You can choose to address it directly or remain silent, knowing that the truth will surface eventually. Trust your instincts on what feels right for the situation.

3. Why do people lie even when they know the truth will come out?
People often lie out of fear, shame, or a desire to control a situation. In many cases, they underestimate how obvious their deception is.

4. Is it better to call out a liar or wait for them to admit it?
It depends on the situation. Sometimes, letting someone lie while you know the truth can be more effective than immediate confrontation.

5. Can lies ever be justified?
While small “white lies” are often seen as harmless, most lies damage trust in the long run. Honesty usually leads to stronger, more authentic relationships.

6. How can I spot when someone is lying?
Pay attention to inconsistencies in their story, body language cues, and their emotional responses. Often, the truth reveals itself in the gaps of their lie. For more tips on detecting deception, check out this article on how to tell if someone is lying from Business Insider.

Disposable Mothers – An Epidemic

On By LaetitiaIn Bereavement and Grief, Bullying, Cult Behaviour, Divorce, Family Concerns, Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Relationship Matters, Religious Cults, Slander, Gossip and LiesLeave a comment

Morning Reflection: This Is an Epidemic

THE DISPOSABLE MOTHER:

A Cultural Indictment of misdiagnosed memories, emotional propaganda and the silencing of the woman who stayed.

There is a quiet war being waged. And the casualty? The Mother. Not the absent one. Not the abusive one. But the one that stayed. The one who broke herself into pieces to keep everything together. The one who gave up her own identity so that her children could find theirs.

The one who fed, clothed, soothed, worked, showed up, and still got labeled toxic.

And what does culture tell her now? Shut up. Don’t complain.

Don’t have needs.

Don’t have feelings.

Don’t be angry.

Don’t be tired.

Don’t be hurt.

Just vanish. Quietly, gracefully and invisibly.

Do this so your Adult Children can finish the story of your failure without you…

There’s a new epidemic.

It’s not viral — it’s emotional.

And its symptoms are silence, shame, and scapegoating.

It’s the epidemic of the disposable mother.

Not the abusive one.

Not the neglectful one.

But the one who stayed.

The one who gave everything — her time, her youth, her identity — and is now being erased from the narrative. Diagnosed without a voice. Abandoned in the name of “healing.” Labeled toxic for having emotions. Forgotten for simply being human.

This isn’t just a few hurt feelings.

This is a widespread cultural phenomenon.

An epidemic of estrangement, misdiagnosed memories, and weaponized therapy.

We are watching an entire generation of mothers be rewritten.

But we will not be erased.

We are still here.

Still grieving.

Still sacred.

Still rising.

Let this post be a gentle wake-up call — a crack in the illusion.

If you are one of these mothers, you are not alone. You are not crazy. You are not toxic.

You are part of a generation of women waking up to a system that betrayed them — and still choosing to hold peace in their hearts.

📖 Read this piece. Share it with someone who needs to know they’re not alone.

Let’s name the wound, and begin the reckoning.

From Sacred Resiliance

Surviving Father’s Day

On By LaetitiaIn Bereavement and Grief, Bullying, Cult Behaviour, Divorce, Family Concerns, Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Relationship Matters, Religious Cults, Sexual AbuseLeave a comment

…. When ‘Dear Old Dad’ is not so ‘dear’.

by Timothy Rice MD and Kristian Beesley Ph D

When you have a difficult, or worse, relationship with your dad, Father’s Day can be fraught with anxiety and pain. Unpleasant memories, tension, and varying levels of estrangement take center stage, meanwhile, your friends are celebrating their dads with heartfelt cards and gifts.

Father’s Day, like Mother’s Day, is widely promoted and hard to ignore.

A TV ad asks, “Where will you celebrate Father’s Day?” It showcases a beaming adult son enjoying a meal with his cardigan-graced Dad at the best restaurant in town. People think, “great idea.” However, you instantly recall the time your father yelled at you at a restaurant when you were 12. You remember it well. Your father doesn’t.

An online ad pops up, featuring a woman your age, smiling up at her graying dad and presenting him with a gift. Meanwhile, your own father barely communicates with you and on the rare phone call, he sounds like he’s been drinking, can’t remember the name of your dog, and only talks about how much he and his third wife are enjoying their beach condo. You aren’t planning on sending him a gift because he doesn’t call you on your birthday.

Father’s Day can be rife with pain, despite the media demand for unconditional celebration. But there is hope. If you would like a healthier experience this Father’s Day:

Step 1: Accept your father’s negatives

If you have mixed memories of your father, you may feel pressure (both internally and externally) to brush aside the pain and focus on the positive. But you don’t need to abandon past hurts. Past hurts actually feel more “authentic” to you than those vague, “happy” memories you’re trying hard to resuscitate. Instead of hiding the pain, allow yourself some space to simply not enjoy.

Step 2: Gain perspective on your father’s own experience

After validating the negatives, think about whether your father did his best with what he had available, and place the downsides into the context of his own upbringing and life. Typically, we view our fathers as authorities. Yet, every father is really just another person like the rest of us. The late psychoanalyst and social worker Selma Fraiberg promoted the concept of intergenerational transmission of trauma, in which the hurts of parents continue on into their children. While you can feel hurt for the way these ghosts can be passed down, take into context that the struggle you may have had with your father is the same struggle he may have had with his own parents.

Step 3: Acknowledge your father’s positives

While you should acknowledge and accept your father’s negatives, an important step to a healthier Father’s Day is to also find the positives, no matter how small. Did you learn an important lesson from your father? Can you recall any warm feelings you shared with your dad? Did he have a particular talent you admire? One important developmental task of adulthood is to live with appreciation and disappointment side by side; bring light to your bag of mixed emotions. Give yourself some credit and permit yourself to feel both good and bad at the same time.

Step 4: Do something, maybe even give your dad a call

Father’s Day is well set up for new beginnings. Take the opportunity to share something loving with your father, without internally feeling the need to do injustice to your own complex feelings.

If your father lives nearby, perhaps send him an email to invite him for coffee. If you’re states away, set up a time to talk with him via phone or Facetime. Or, if it feels comfortable, pick up the phone and just call on Father’s Day. If you do connect, say hello, and share whatever you are feeling.

Reflect on the negatives, recognize that you are entitled to your feelings, and allow yourself the space to feel a range of feelings. You need not experience only the positive. Allow yourself to connect, say hello, and just accept whatever you are feeling.

Your father may not respond at all. He may not return your email or answer your call. This may simply be a matter of bad timing but he may be actively stating he does not want to speak. Fathers have their own uncomfortable feelings that arise poignantly on Father’s Day.

What feels right for you

Some people choose to acknowledge their feelings with a mailed letter, a card, or an email. Some may reflect privately. While the holiday is called Father’s Day, it is also a day for the child. Do what feels right for you.

When it helps, share any past hurts with your friends and family in the service of allowing yourself to be open to positivity. If you spend time with your father on this special day, you may actually enjoy it.

For adult children, this is also a time to reflect on what fathering means to us, how we hope to take in these memories, and pass down our memories with our own understanding to those we parent or mentor.

While you may not be truly “celebrating” your father, coming to terms with your relationship is an opportunity.

Psychology Today

Shadow Work

On By LaetitiaIn Bereavement and Grief, Bullying, Cult Behaviour, Divorce, Family Concerns, Friends, Enemies and 'Frenemies', Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Relationship Matters, Religious Cults, Sexual Abuse, Slander, Gossip and LiesLeave a comment

An excellent article by Coventum

Shadow work is not just a practice of psychology. And definitely not about fixing what’s broken. It’s about discovering what’s been buried—your emotions, wounds, truths, and power.

Rooted in Jungian psychology and practiced for centuries through shamanic, spiritual, and mystical traditions, shadow work is the practice of meeting your unconscious self with honesty and compassion. It’s the journey of bringing light to what has long been kept in the dark.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung

What Is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the practice of uncovering and integrating the unconscious parts of yourself—your fears, desires, shame, and hidden strengths. These “shadow parts” are often formed in childhood and buried by the ego to protect your identity. However, they don’t disappear. They project themselves onto others, influence your reactions, and can create patterns that keep you stuck.

To do shadow work is to observe your triggers, trace them to their roots, and reclaim what you’ve disowned. This practice is both psychological and spiritual—a return to wholeness.

Yes, you can do shadow work by yourself, and no, it’s not just for therapists or spiritual gurus. It’s for anyone ready to know themselves, fully.

Next, we’ll explore beginner-friendly methods for accepting your shadow side.

1. Observe Your Triggers

Anything that causes an intense emotional reaction—anger, shame, jealousy, discomfort—could be a window into your shadow. Pay close attention to the situations, people, or themes that spark a disproportionate emotional response.

“If you hate a person, you hate something in them that is part of yourself.” — Hermann Hesse

For example, if the sex scenes in the movies and TV shows you watch embarrass or anger you, this may indicate repressed sexuality, or if the scenes of violence and war make you happy inside, this can be interpreted as suppressed anger/hatred.

“Usually we punish the things that remind us of the parts of ourselves that we disagree with and that we are most uncomfortable with, and we often see these parts of ourselves that we deny.” -Robert A Johnson

Use these moments as data points. Ask yourself: What exactly triggered me? What emotion came up? What memory does this remind me of?

2. Take Note of Your Inner Conversations

Throughout your life, you have exhibited some behaviors, said words that you cannot understand, and then wondered why you acted or spoke this way. An archetype/sub-personality/fragment within you has taken all control.

With these parts; We can communicate through internal dialogue and/or active imagination, or simply by writing on paper or computer. In this way, we integrate these parts of us into our conscious mind.

Writing is one of the simplest shadow works exercises. You don’t need to be a writer—just be honest. Here are some powerful shadow work journal prompts to start with:

  • What emotions am I most uncomfortable feeling, and why?
  • What qualities in others do I secretly admire or resent?
  • When do I feel fake or performative?
  • What am I afraid people might find out about me?
  • Who triggers me the most—and what do they reflect back to me?

Even five minutes a day can spark surprising clarity.

3. Practice Inner Dialogue

Another beginner-friendly approach is to have a silent (or written) dialogue with a part of you that feels hidden or disruptive. This is a key practice in Jungian shadow work and can be done through meditation or imagination.

Sit in a quiet space. Close your eyes. Ask: Who wants to speak? What do you need me to hear? Then listen—without judgment.

Sometimes the part that speaks is younger, angry, fearful, or wild. All parts have something to teach.

Remember, filling our conscious mind with perfect/ideal thoughts is characteristic of most Western philosophies/theologies, and these philosophies generally do not face the shadows and dark side of the world. A person cannot become enlightened simply by imagining the light, but rather by making the darkness conscious.

4. Accept, Don’t Fix

A crucial shift: shadow work is not about fixing your shadow self—it’s about reintegrating it. The goal is not perfection or constant positivity. The goal is wholeness, honesty, and reclaiming power.

5. Creativity as Expression

Art, dance, poetry, music, and movement are excellent ways to engage with your unconscious mind. Don’t censor yourself. Let your emotions guide your creations.

Creative practices bring your shadow into form and make it easier to observe and integrate. This is also where our Pentacle Necklace comes in—a symbol of harmony between the five elements, including your inner chaos.

6. Use the World as a Mirror

What annoys you about others? What behaviours do you judge harshly? These projections are often mirrors of your disowned qualities.

Not all triggers are projections—but many are. Learning to discern which shadows are yours, which are others’, and which are shared is part of the work.

Try asking:

  • Is this reaction about me or them?
  • What part of me feels threatened?
  • What would I never allow myself to be—and why?

This is powerful reflection work. And with time, it leads to radical self-awareness.

It is also a possibility that two people may reflect similar qualities. Or, qualities that complement each other may be mirrored mutually. For example, one person tends to be overly self-sacrificing and another tends to control others. From the collision of these two, one may be the controlled and the other the controlling, where opposite but complementary qualities may be mutually projected onto each other. Examples can be multiplied. A person may be projecting jealousy, anger, greed, and all the qualities we can think of to the other side and the world.

7. Shadow Work Therapy (Optional But Powerful)

You don’t have to do shadow work alone. In fact, many people benefit from working with Jungian therapists or trauma-informed coaches.

Professional guidance can help you move through blockages faster and more safely—especially if you’re dealing with trauma, grief, or anxiety.

8. Work With Archetypes & Mythic Energy

Symbols like Lilith, Nyx, and the Crow aren’t just myth—they’re psychological mirrors. Working with dark feminine archetypes can be deeply supportive in shadow work.

References:

For more information visit Coventum

The Difficulty of Grieving A Complicated Relationship

On By LaetitiaIn Bereavement and Grief, Bullying, Cult Behaviour, Divorce, Family Concerns, Friends, Enemies and 'Frenemies', Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Relationship Matters, Religious Cults, Sexual Abuse, Slander, Gossip and LiesLeave a comment

By Sam Carr

There is a scene in the pilot episode of HBO’s American black comedy-drama series Succession where Kendall Roy locks himself in the bathroom, no longer able to hold in his rage and resentment towards his father. Billionaire media mogul, Logan Roy, is portrayed as a narcissistic, emotionally abusive, power-hungry father who has inflicted a lifetime of neglect and abuse on his children.

After his mini-breakdown, Kendall composes himself, returns to the dining room, and puts on a brave face with the rest of the family to celebrate his father’s birthday. There is an uncomfortable sense that family life is an artificial performance. Not too far from the surface are the pain, resentment and anger of decades of dysfunctional family life.

Trauma specialist, Caroline Spring, wrote that the “happy family” is a myth for many, a performed cultural ideal that masks a myriad of unpalatable truths. This can also be true in death, as people negotiate the loss of family members they blatantly disliked during life, or who caused them nothing but suffering and pain.

It’s difficult to say how many funerals are characterised by singing the praises of people many of those present either openly or secretly resented or cannot forgive.

It’s not necessarily that the deceased wasn’t loved or that their loss doesn’t still sting. Grieving dysfunctional, toxic or hurtful relationships creates a different level of complexity.

In Succession, when the tyrannical Logan Roy finally dies his children’s sadness is palpable. However, family therapists have argued that such grief can be complicated by the fact that the bereaved are often mourning a relationship they wish they’d had with the deceased or are angry and remorseful about the fact that things were never repaired.

There is also the possibility for internal conflict when cultural or familial pressure to celebrate the deceased collides with an internal need to acknowledge the fact that they were mean, abusive, and neglectful.

Artificial forgiveness

Bereavement psychologists suggest that forgiving the deceased is important to preserving mental health. After all, as Nelson Mandela suggested, resentment “is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die”.

In simple terms, psychologist Robert Enright defined forgiveness as rooting out negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours towards someone, and finding a way to develop positive thoughts, feelings and behaviours about them too. He suggested such forgiveness is highly relevant in cases where the offending party is dead.

In his book, Dying Matters, palliative care physician, Ira Byock, argued that suffering can be eased through deathbed rituals designed to foster forgiveness. As part of a “good death”, he encourages people to engage in five steps, where they say:

Forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. And Goodbye.

The idea being that such forgiveness rituals help “wipe the slate clean”.

However, it has been argued that this sort of forgiveness is artificial.

Grief psychologist, Lorraine Hedtke, believes such practices pressure people into what she calls an “artificial ending”. Sometimes people end up silencing suffering or minimising and denying pain in service to a cultural pressure to accelerate forgiveness. She also questions whether forgiveness is really something we can conjure up in “once and forever” rituals.

Death is not the end

Of course, death is not the end of our psychological relationship with the deceased. Hedtke offers the example of an abusive, angry, tyrannical father, much like Succession’s Logan Roy, whose six sons had few kind words to say about him on his death.

Neither the man’s death, nor his funeral, she wrote, were the time or place any of his children felt able to make false declarations of forgiveness. At the funeral they had few kind words or fond memories and could not recall appreciative connections with their father. Only in the years that followed did they begin to construct a more forgiving version of him.

Eventually the brothers were able to retain their original reality – that he was indeed a mean and vindictive father – and also begin to appreciate and understand him in a different light too. This was sparked by a random conversation about a long-forgotten fishing trip, prompting them to remember a positive quality that had previously gone unnoticed.

Even after death, Hedtke argues, relationships change and evolve. In some cases, perhaps this sort of change is only possible after someone’s death.

Studies have also suggested that people’s capacity to forgive the dead may be connected to psychological factors like attachment. Psychologists Elizabeth Gassin and Gregory Lengel found that people with high attachment avoidance were less likely to reach forgiveness for someone they were close to who had died. This makes sense because attachment avoidance is a tendency to repress or shut away our feelings for the other. It is difficult to forgive someone if we are unable to acknowledge or face our feelings about them.

So with all this in mind, it might be hard for the Roy children to forgive Logan straight away. Theirs was a fraught and complicated relationship. Their journey to forgiveness and through grief might take time but that is normal.

The Conversation

Mannerisms of A Person who Survived Narcissistic Abuse

On By LaetitiaIn Bullying, Cult Behaviour, Divorce, Family Concerns, Infliction of Abuse, Mental Health Disorders, Narcissistic Abuse, Relationship Matters, Religious Cults, Sexual Abuse, Slander, Gossip and LiesLeave a comment

by Ashley Cropper

Image – Your Life Lifter

Finally getting out of a relationship with a narcissist doesn’t mean you just walk away and everything resets — if only.

The way you moved, spoke, and reacted around them wasn’t random; it was survival. And even when they’re no longer in your life, some of those habits stick around for a long time to come. These mannerisms aren’t flaws, just reminders of what you had to do to get through it. If any of these feel familiar, know that you’re not alone. Keep working through your experience and finding ways to process them so that you can truly move forward without the baggage of their abuse.

1. They say sorry way too much.

Apologising becomes second nature after constantly being made to feel like everything was their fault. Even when they haven’t done anything wrong, “sorry” just slips out, like a reflex. It’s easier to apologise first than to risk upsetting someone, even if there’s no reason to think they’re actually mad. It can be for little things, like taking up space in a room or accidentally bumping into someone. The need to smooth things over before there’s even a problem is just something they learned along the way. Over time, they start realising they don’t need to apologise for simply existing.

2. They hesitate before saying what they really think.

When every opinion was once picked apart or twisted against them, speaking up starts to feel risky. They might pause before answering simple questions, trying to figure out the “right” thing to say. Even harmless opinions like what they want for dinner can make them feel like they’re putting themselves in the line of fire. It’s not that they don’t have thoughts or preferences. It’s just that, for a long time, sharing them came with consequences. Eventually, they start realising that safe people won’t punish them for having a voice.

3. They over-explain everything.

When someone’s spent years being gaslit, they get used to having to “prove” their reality. They might give way more detail than necessary when telling a story, just to make sure they won’t be misunderstood. Even when no one is doubting them, they feel the need to justify every little thing. It’s the same with making decisions, explaining why they chose something before anyone even questions them. They’re just used to having to defend themselves, even when there’s no fight to be had. Eventually, they learn that they don’t owe anyone a 10-minute breakdown of why they picked one option over another.

4. They struggle to make decisions on their own.

When every choice was once criticised, even small decisions can feel overwhelming. They might freeze up over what movie to watch or what restaurant to pick, worrying they’ll “get it wrong.” The fear of making a mistake, even when it doesn’t matter, sticks around for a while. It’s not because they don’t care or are trying to be difficult. It’s just that they got used to someone making them second-guess every move. Learning to trust their own choices again takes time, but it happens.

5. They downplay their own feelings.

After years of being told they were “too sensitive” or “overreacting,” they start believing it. They might brush off things that actually hurt, convincing themselves it wasn’t that bad. Even when something really bothers them, their first instinct is to push it aside. They might say things like, “I don’t want to be dramatic, but…” or “It’s not a big deal.” It’s just what happens when someone’s been made to feel like their emotions are an inconvenience. Eventually, they start unlearning that and realising their feelings are valid.

6. They get tense when someone’s mood suddenly changes.

People who’ve been around narcissists know how quickly things can flip. One second everything’s fine, the next, there’s tension in the air, and they have no idea why. So they get really good at noticing tiny shifts in body language, tone, or energy. It’s like an automatic response — they pick up on the smallest signs of frustration and start preparing for what’s coming. Even when no one’s actually upset, their brain still sends out a warning. Over time, they realise that not every sigh or pause means danger, but that instinct doesn’t fade overnight.

7. They can’t accept compliments to save their lives.

When someone’s been picked apart for long enough, nice words can feel… weird. Compliments don’t quite register, or they feel the need to downplay them. “Oh, this outfit? I just threw it on,” or “I got lucky, that’s all.” It’s easier to brush off praise than accept it. It’s not that they don’t appreciate it; they just don’t know how to believe it. Being treated with kindness feels foreign after being criticised for so long. Eventually, they start letting the good words sink in instead of automatically deflecting them.

8. They’re super tuned in to other people’s emotions.

Living with a narcissist means always being on high alert for their mood swings. Over time, survivors develop a hypersensitivity to other people’s emotions. They can walk into a room and immediately sense if something feels “off.” It’s not just empathy — it’s survival. They learned to read the energy of a situation to avoid conflict. But constantly scanning for signs of trouble is exhausting, and they eventually start realising they don’t have to do that with safe people.

9. They pause before answering simple questions.

Even casual conversations can feel like a test. When you’ve been with someone who twisted your words, you learn to tread carefully. Even answering “How was your day?” might come with a pause while they run through all the possible ways their response could be taken. They’re not hiding anything; they’re just used to walking on eggshells. Eventually, they get to a place where they don’t feel the need to filter themselves so much. But at first, even harmless questions can feel loaded.

10. They hate asking for help.

When someone’s been made to feel like a burden, asking for help feels impossible. They might convince themselves they should be able to handle everything alone. Even when they’re struggling, the idea of leaning on someone feels unnatural. It’s not that they don’t need support; they just don’t want to be an inconvenience. Over time, they start learning that healthy relationships involve give and take. But breaking the habit of doing everything solo takes time.

11. They get nervous when things are going too well.

For survivors, peace can feel unfamiliar. When they’re in a stable, loving relationship or things in life are actually going smoothly, a little voice in their head whispers, “This won’t last.” They’re used to good moments being followed by chaos. Even when they want to relax and enjoy things, part of them stays on guard. They seem like they don’t trust happiness because they were trained to expect the rug to be pulled out from under them. Eventually, they realise that real, healthy love doesn’t come with hidden conditions.

12. They sometimes don’t trust their own judgement.

When someone’s spent years being told they’re wrong, they start believing it. Even after leaving, they struggle to trust their instincts. “Am I overreacting?” “Am I the problem?” “What if I’m being unfair?” Making choices without second-guessing themselves feels foreign. But the more they rebuild their confidence, the more they start recognising that they were never the issue. Learning to trust themselves again is part of the healing process.

13. They feel guilty for setting boundaries.

For so long, saying “no” or putting themselves first meant backlash. Narcissists don’t respect boundaries, so survivors learned that standing up for themselves just made things worse. Even after leaving, setting limits can make them feel selfish or anxious. They might feel like they need to over-explain why they can’t do something or worry that people will be upset with them. But after a while, they start realising that boundaries aren’t mean, they’re necessary — and the right people will respect them.

14. They’re still figuring out what safe love looks like

After being conditioned to accept toxic love, healthy relationships can feel confusing. They might not trust kindness at first or feel uneasy when there’s no drama. It takes time to rewire their brain to see love as something safe, not something they have to earn. But little by little, they start recognising what real love feels like. And when they do, they realise they never have to settle for anything less again.

The Sense Hub