A Cultural Indictment of misdiagnosed memories, emotional propaganda and the silencing of the woman who stayed.
There is a quiet war being waged. And the casualty? The Mother. Not the absent one. Not the abusive one. But the one that stayed. The one who broke herself into pieces to keep everything together. The one who gave up her own identity so that her children could find theirs.
The one who fed, clothed, soothed, worked, showed up, and still got labeled toxic.
And what does culture tell her now? Shut up. Don’t complain.
Don’t have needs.
Don’t have feelings.
Don’t be angry.
Don’t be tired.
Don’t be hurt.
Just vanish. Quietly, gracefully and invisibly.
Do this so your Adult Children can finish the story of your failure without you…
There’s a new epidemic.
It’s not viral — it’s emotional.
And its symptoms are silence, shame, and scapegoating.
It’s the epidemic of the disposable mother.
Not the abusive one.
Not the neglectful one.
But the one who stayed.
The one who gave everything — her time, her youth, her identity — and is now being erased from the narrative. Diagnosed without a voice. Abandoned in the name of “healing.” Labeled toxic for having emotions. Forgotten for simply being human.
This isn’t just a few hurt feelings.
This is a widespread cultural phenomenon.
An epidemic of estrangement, misdiagnosed memories, and weaponized therapy.
We are watching an entire generation of mothers be rewritten.
But we will not be erased.
We are still here.
Still grieving.
Still sacred.
Still rising.
Let this post be a gentle wake-up call — a crack in the illusion.
If you are one of these mothers, you are not alone. You are not crazy. You are not toxic.
You are part of a generation of women waking up to a system that betrayed them — and still choosing to hold peace in their hearts.
Read this piece. Share it with someone who needs to know they’re not alone.
When someone dies who you had a complicated relationship with, you may experience confusing and mixed emotions. There are many different ways that this scenario can play out, but the fact is that everyone dies, even people you didn’t like or had conflict with. And when you have mixed feelings about someone in life, you will continue to have mixed feelings about them in death.
People talk all the time about losing someone they deeply loved and cared for. As for grieving someone you had negative feelings towards, people don’t talk as much about that. The reasons why you may have had a difficult relationship are endless. Maybe they were mean or hurtful; perhaps they were violent or abusive; they could have been toxic or emotionally manipulative; maybe they betrayed you or someone you love.
We get it, it feels weird to sort through feelings about the death of someone you didn’t always like and it can feel even weirder to talk about it. So, today we’re going to talk about some of the circumstances that are unique to grieving someone you didn’t like. Then we’re going to answer some of the questions that come up in those situations and talk about how to cope.
You’re not sure if what you’re feeling is grief.
If we understand grief as a natural reaction to loss, you may be thinking that it isn’t a “loss” that this person isn’t in your world anymore. You might think if you didn’t like or want them in your life, it can’t be grief. This can leave you confused about how to categorize the feelings and isolated in discussing the emotions. Check out our definition of grief here for more.
You feel happy or relieved
Or, you’re at least not sad about it. In circumstances when your physical or emotional safety (or that of someone you love) was at risk because of the person who died, you may be feeling an immense sense of relief that your safety is no longer in jeopardy. At the same time, you may also be feeling some guilt that you’re relieved or happy or not sad. Like we said, it’s complicated. Luckily we have a whole post on feeling relief in grief
Your feelings of relief are in conflict with other people’s feelings of sadness
Sometimes you have a bad or complicated relationship with someone, but other people in your life don’t. After that person dies, you may be left to sort through complicated negative feelings, while others work through more traditional grief feelings. This disconnect can leave you feeling isolated and alone, and also ill-equipped to support your grieving family and friends.
You thought your relationship with them might eventually get better.
This thought might have been conscious or it might have been subconscious. Either way, when someone dies who you didn’t like it isn’t uncommon to suddenly feel the weight of the reality that you know will never get an apology, have a chance to apologize, or have a chance for the relationship to change and improve. Even if those were things you never consciously wanted, knowing they are no longer even an option can be difficult.
Your grief isn’t validated by others.
If people in your life knew you didn’t get along with this person, that you had a strained relationship, or had a falling out, people may minimize the validity of your feelings. That is a little thing known as disenfranchised grief. You may still be having intense grief feelings, despite that bitter divorce, painful custody battle, or even history of abuse. People around you might be saying, what do you have to be upset about?!? You hated him and hadn’t talked to him for years!
Death doesn’t bring closure.
You may have imagined that all those complicated feelings would somehow get resolved once the person died or was completely out of your life. But there is a good chance the complicated emotions are still there, even though the person isn’t. You wouldn’t be the first or the last. The reality is the pain of a difficult relationship doesn’t die just because a person has died.
Remind yourself you have the right to grieve.
When someone is removed physically from our lives there is an impact, no matter how we felt about them. It changes the relationship, and it can impact our understanding of the past and the future. Even if the hole left in your life is a hole you believed you always wanted, that doesn’t change its emotional impact. You can deeply miss someone you had a really complicated relationship with, so give yourself permission. The human heart is funny that way.
Remember that it is okay to feel relief.
If you feel guilty that you’re relieved, happy, or not sad about a death, let’s think through the feelings. What you are relieved or happy about is that you are now safe and no longer fearful. This is different than being glad someone has died. If there were another possible way for you to feel safe, you would likely have wished that to be the outcome. For more on this, check out our post about relief.
For better or worse, relationships continue after someone dies.
If you had a good relationship with someone, that can often continue through good memories and carrying on their legacy. If you had a complicated relationship it often remains, well, complicated! You may have imagined a person’s death would make you feel better or resolve some of the feelings you were having. In some cases that’s true, but in some cases it isn’t. You may find you still need to carry on efforts to explore your own feelings about the person or find ways to forgive (keeping in mind that foregiveness is not about saying someone’s behavior was okay!). You can read more about forgiveness here.
Communicate about the entire relationship, the good and the bad.
The old saying “don’t speak ill of the dead” can, unfortunately, make people feel like they have to keep their mouths shut about the problems in a relationship after the person has died. We’re here to say, it’s okay to keep processing and talking about these issues if you need to, you may just want to choose your audience wisely. Depending on your situation, friends or family may not be the best people to support these types of conversations. If that is the case, a grief counselor or support group might be helpful. What isn’t helpful is avoiding, stuffing, or ignoring the complicated emotions and memories.
Realize you may be grieving the relationship you wished you had.
We all have ideas about what a mom or dad or friend or spouse or child is “supposed” to be. Unfortunately, what we want a relationship to be is not always what it is. Who we want a person to be is not always who they are. If you are struggling to understand your own complicated emotions about the death, consider that you may be feeling grief around not having had the [mom/dad/husband/wife/friend/child] you wanted or needed.
It is still possible to finish ‘business’.
When grieving someone you didn’t like, or with whom you had a complicated relationship, there can be a feeling that any “unfinished business” will now have to be left unfinished. It may not get finished in the way you imagined when that person was alive (if you were planning for a direct conversation, obviously that just isn’t going to happen). You can still find ways to say the things you wanted to say. That could be in the form of a journal, letter to the person who died, artistic expression, or with a therapist.
Consider all the ways the relationship has impacted you.
Though many of these may be negative and painful, you may also see ways you grew from the strains in the relationship. It may be in your own commitment to not being like that person or it may be in your growth and avoidance of other negative or toxic relationships. It may even be in your ability to find forgiveness or empathy in an impossible situation. Whatever it is, take some time to appreciate yourself and your own growth. This is not being grateful to the person or for the hurt or problems they caused, but taking the time to give yourself credit for the growth that can come from adversity.
When you have a difficult, or worse, relationship with your dad, Father’s Day can be fraught with anxiety and pain. Unpleasant memories, tension, and varying levels of estrangement take center stage, meanwhile, your friends are celebrating their dads with heartfelt cards and gifts.
Father’s Day, like Mother’s Day, is widely promoted and hard to ignore.
A TV ad asks, “Where will you celebrate Father’s Day?” It showcases a beaming adult son enjoying a meal with his cardigan-graced Dad at the best restaurant in town. People think, “great idea.” However, you instantly recall the time your father yelled at you at a restaurant when you were 12. You remember it well. Your father doesn’t.
An online ad pops up, featuring a woman your age, smiling up at her graying dad and presenting him with a gift. Meanwhile, your own father barely communicates with you and on the rare phone call, he sounds like he’s been drinking, can’t remember the name of your dog, and only talks about how much he and his third wife are enjoying their beach condo. You aren’t planning on sending him a gift because he doesn’t call you on your birthday.
Father’s Day can be rife with pain, despite the media demand for unconditional celebration. But there is hope. If you would like a healthier experience this Father’s Day:
Step 1: Accept your father’s negatives
If you have mixed memories of your father, you may feel pressure (both internally and externally) to brush aside the pain and focus on the positive. But you don’t need to abandon past hurts. Past hurts actually feel more “authentic” to you than those vague, “happy” memories you’re trying hard to resuscitate. Instead of hiding the pain, allow yourself some space to simply not enjoy.
Step 2: Gain perspective on your father’s own experience
After validating the negatives, think about whether your father did his best with what he had available, and place the downsides into the context of his own upbringing and life. Typically, we view our fathers as authorities. Yet, every father is really just another person like the rest of us. The late psychoanalyst and social worker Selma Fraiberg promoted the concept of intergenerational transmission of trauma, in which the hurts of parents continue on into their children. While you can feel hurt for the way these ghosts can be passed down, take into context that the struggle you may have had with your father is the same struggle he may have had with his own parents.
Step 3: Acknowledge your father’s positives
While you should acknowledge and accept your father’s negatives, an important step to a healthier Father’s Day is to also find the positives, no matter how small. Did you learn an important lesson from your father? Can you recall any warm feelings you shared with your dad? Did he have a particular talent you admire? One important developmental task of adulthood is to live with appreciation and disappointment side by side; bring light to your bag of mixed emotions. Give yourself some credit and permit yourself to feel both good and bad at the same time.
Step 4: Do something, maybe even give your dad a call
Father’s Day is well set up for new beginnings. Take the opportunity to share something loving with your father, without internally feeling the need to do injustice to your own complex feelings.
If your father lives nearby, perhaps send him an email to invite him for coffee. If you’re states away, set up a time to talk with him via phone or Facetime. Or, if it feels comfortable, pick up the phone and just call on Father’s Day. If you do connect, say hello, and share whatever you are feeling.
Reflect on the negatives, recognize that you are entitled to your feelings, and allow yourself the space to feel a range of feelings. You need not experience only the positive. Allow yourself to connect, say hello, and just accept whatever you are feeling.
Your father may not respond at all. He may not return your email or answer your call. This may simply be a matter of bad timing but he may be actively stating he does not want to speak. Fathers have their own uncomfortable feelings that arise poignantly on Father’s Day.
What feels right for you
Some people choose to acknowledge their feelings with a mailed letter, a card, or an email. Some may reflect privately. While the holiday is called Father’s Day, it is also a day for the child. Do what feels right for you.
When it helps, share any past hurts with your friends and family in the service of allowing yourself to be open to positivity. If you spend time with your father on this special day, you may actually enjoy it.
For adult children, this is also a time to reflect on what fathering means to us, how we hope to take in these memories, and pass down our memories with our own understanding to those we parent or mentor.
While you may not be truly “celebrating” your father, coming to terms with your relationship is an opportunity.
Shadow work is not just a practice of psychology. And definitely not about fixing what’s broken. It’s about discovering what’s been buried—your emotions, wounds, truths, and power.
Rooted in Jungian psychology and practiced for centuries through shamanic, spiritual, and mystical traditions, shadow work is the practice of meeting your unconscious self with honesty and compassion. It’s the journey of bringing light to what has long been kept in the dark.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung
What Is Shadow Work?
Shadow work is the practice of uncovering and integrating the unconscious parts of yourself—your fears, desires, shame, and hidden strengths. These “shadow parts” are often formed in childhood and buried by the ego to protect your identity. However, they don’t disappear. They project themselves onto others, influence your reactions, and can create patterns that keep you stuck.
To do shadow work is to observe your triggers, trace them to their roots, and reclaim what you’ve disowned. This practice is both psychological and spiritual—a return to wholeness.
Yes, you can do shadow work by yourself, and no, it’s not just for therapists or spiritual gurus. It’s for anyone ready to know themselves, fully.
Next, we’ll explore beginner-friendly methods for accepting your shadow side.
1. Observe Your Triggers
Anything that causes an intense emotional reaction—anger, shame, jealousy, discomfort—could be a window into your shadow. Pay close attention to the situations, people, or themes that spark a disproportionate emotional response.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in them that is part of yourself.” — Hermann Hesse
For example, if the sex scenes in the movies and TV shows you watch embarrass or anger you, this may indicate repressed sexuality, or if the scenes of violence and war make you happy inside, this can be interpreted as suppressed anger/hatred.
“Usually we punish the things that remind us of the parts of ourselves that we disagree with and that we are most uncomfortable with, and we often see these parts of ourselves that we deny.” -Robert A Johnson
Use these moments as data points. Ask yourself:What exactly triggered me? What emotion came up? What memory does this remind me of?
2. Take Note of Your Inner Conversations
Throughout your life, you have exhibited some behaviors, said words that you cannot understand, and then wondered why you acted or spoke this way. An archetype/sub-personality/fragment within you has taken all control.
With these parts; We can communicate through internal dialogue and/or active imagination, or simply by writing on paper or computer. In this way, we integrate these parts of us into our conscious mind.
Writing is one of the simplest shadow works exercises. You don’t need to be a writer—just be honest. Here are some powerful shadow work journal prompts to start with:
What emotions am I most uncomfortable feeling, and why?
What qualities in others do I secretly admire or resent?
When do I feel fake or performative?
What am I afraid people might find out about me?
Who triggers me the most—and what do they reflect back to me?
Even five minutes a day can spark surprising clarity.
3. Practice Inner Dialogue
Another beginner-friendly approach is to have a silent (or written) dialogue with a part of you that feels hidden or disruptive. This is a key practice in Jungian shadow work and can be done through meditation or imagination.
Sit in a quiet space. Close your eyes. Ask: Who wants to speak? What do you need me to hear? Then listen—without judgment.
Sometimes the part that speaks is younger, angry, fearful, or wild. All parts have something to teach.
Remember, filling our conscious mind with perfect/ideal thoughts is characteristic of most Western philosophies/theologies, and these philosophies generally do not face the shadows and dark side of the world. A person cannot become enlightened simply by imagining the light, but rather by making the darkness conscious.
4. Accept, Don’t Fix
A crucial shift: shadow work is not about fixing your shadow self—it’s about reintegrating it. The goal is not perfection or constant positivity. The goal is wholeness, honesty, and reclaiming power.
5. Creativity as Expression
Art, dance, poetry, music, and movement are excellent ways to engage with your unconscious mind. Don’t censor yourself. Let your emotions guide your creations.
Creative practices bring your shadow into form and make it easier to observe and integrate. This is also where our Pentacle Necklace comes in—a symbol of harmony between the five elements, including your inner chaos.
6. Use the World as a Mirror
What annoys you about others? What behaviours do you judge harshly? These projections are often mirrors of your disowned qualities.
Not all triggers are projections—but many are. Learning to discern which shadows are yours, which are others’, and which are shared is part of the work.
Try asking:
Is this reaction about me or them?
What part of me feels threatened?
What would I never allow myself to be—and why?
This is powerful reflection work. And with time, it leads to radical self-awareness.
It is also a possibility that two people may reflect similar qualities. Or, qualities that complement each other may be mirrored mutually. For example, one person tends to be overly self-sacrificing and another tends to control others. From the collision of these two, one may be the controlled and the other the controlling, where opposite but complementary qualities may be mutually projected onto each other. Examples can be multiplied. A person may be projecting jealousy, anger, greed, and all the qualities we can think of to the other side and the world.
7. Shadow Work Therapy (Optional But Powerful)
You don’t have to do shadow work alone. In fact, many people benefit from working with Jungian therapists or trauma-informed coaches.
Professional guidance can help you move through blockages faster and more safely—especially if you’re dealing with trauma, grief, or anxiety.
8. Work With Archetypes & Mythic Energy
Symbols like Lilith, Nyx, and the Crow aren’t just myth—they’re psychological mirrors. Working with dark feminine archetypes can be deeply supportive in shadow work.
There is a scene in the pilot episode of HBO’s American black comedy-drama series Succession where Kendall Roy locks himself in the bathroom, no longer able to hold in his rage and resentment towards his father. Billionaire media mogul, Logan Roy, is portrayed as a narcissistic, emotionally abusive, power-hungry father who has inflicted a lifetime of neglect and abuse on his children.
After his mini-breakdown, Kendall composes himself, returns to the dining room, and puts on a brave face with the rest of the family to celebrate his father’s birthday. There is an uncomfortable sense that family life is an artificial performance. Not too far from the surface are the pain, resentment and anger of decades of dysfunctional family life.
Trauma specialist, Caroline Spring, wrote that the “happy family” is a myth for many, a performed cultural ideal that masks a myriad of unpalatable truths. This can also be true in death, as people negotiate the loss of family members they blatantly disliked during life, or who caused them nothing but suffering and pain.
It’s difficult to say how many funerals are characterised by singing the praises of people many of those present either openly or secretly resented or cannot forgive.
It’s not necessarily that the deceased wasn’t loved or that their loss doesn’t still sting. Grieving dysfunctional, toxic or hurtful relationships creates a different level of complexity.
In Succession, when the tyrannical Logan Roy finally dies his children’s sadness is palpable. However, family therapists have argued that such grief can be complicated by the fact that the bereaved are often mourning a relationship they wish they’d had with the deceased or are angry and remorseful about the fact that things were never repaired.
There is also the possibility for internal conflict when cultural or familial pressure to celebrate the deceased collides with an internal need to acknowledge the fact that they were mean, abusive, and neglectful.
Artificial forgiveness
Bereavement psychologists suggest that forgiving the deceased is important to preserving mental health. After all, as Nelson Mandela suggested, resentment “is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die”.
In simple terms, psychologist Robert Enright defined forgiveness as rooting out negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours towards someone, and finding a way to develop positive thoughts, feelings and behaviours about them too. He suggested such forgiveness is highly relevant in cases where the offending party is dead.
In his book, Dying Matters, palliative care physician, Ira Byock, argued that suffering can be eased through deathbed rituals designed to foster forgiveness. As part of a “good death”, he encourages people to engage in five steps, where they say:
Forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. And Goodbye.
The idea being that such forgiveness rituals help “wipe the slate clean”.
However, it has been argued that this sort of forgiveness is artificial.
Grief psychologist, Lorraine Hedtke, believes such practices pressure people into what she calls an “artificial ending”. Sometimes people end up silencing suffering or minimising and denying pain in service to a cultural pressure to accelerate forgiveness. She also questions whether forgiveness is really something we can conjure up in “once and forever” rituals.
Death is not the end
Of course, death is not the end of our psychological relationship with the deceased. Hedtke offers the example of an abusive, angry, tyrannical father, much like Succession’s Logan Roy, whose six sons had few kind words to say about him on his death.
Neither the man’s death, nor his funeral, she wrote, were the time or place any of his children felt able to make false declarations of forgiveness. At the funeral they had few kind words or fond memories and could not recall appreciative connections with their father. Only in the years that followed did they begin to construct a more forgiving version of him.
Eventually the brothers were able to retain their original reality – that he was indeed a mean and vindictive father – and also begin to appreciate and understand him in a different light too. This was sparked by a random conversation about a long-forgotten fishing trip, prompting them to remember a positive quality that had previously gone unnoticed.
Even after death, Hedtke argues, relationships change and evolve. In some cases, perhaps this sort of change is only possible after someone’s death.
Studies have also suggested that people’s capacity to forgive the dead may be connected to psychological factors like attachment. Psychologists Elizabeth Gassin and Gregory Lengel found that people with high attachment avoidance were less likely to reach forgiveness for someone they were close to who had died. This makes sense because attachment avoidance is a tendency to repress or shut away our feelings for the other. It is difficult to forgive someone if we are unable to acknowledge or face our feelings about them.
So with all this in mind, it might be hard for the Roy children to forgive Logan straight away. Theirs was a fraught and complicated relationship. Their journey to forgiveness and through grief might take time but that is normal.
Finally getting out of a relationship with a narcissist doesn’t mean you just walk away and everything resets — if only.
The way you moved, spoke, and reacted around them wasn’t random; it was survival. And even when they’re no longer in your life, some of those habits stick around for a long time to come. These mannerisms aren’t flaws, just reminders of what you had to do to get through it. If any of these feel familiar, know that you’re not alone. Keep working through your experience and finding ways to process them so that you can truly move forward without the baggage of their abuse.
1. They say sorry way too much.
Apologising becomes second nature after constantly being made to feel like everything was their fault. Even when they haven’t done anything wrong, “sorry” just slips out, like a reflex. It’s easier to apologise first than to risk upsetting someone, even if there’s no reason to think they’re actually mad. It can be for little things, like taking up space in a room or accidentally bumping into someone. The need to smooth things over before there’s even a problem is just something they learned along the way. Over time, they start realising they don’t need to apologise for simply existing.
2. They hesitate before saying what they really think.
When every opinion was once picked apart or twisted against them, speaking up starts to feel risky. They might pause before answering simple questions, trying to figure out the “right” thing to say. Even harmless opinions like what they want for dinner can make them feel like they’re putting themselves in the line of fire. It’s not that they don’t have thoughts or preferences. It’s just that, for a long time, sharing them came with consequences. Eventually, they start realising that safe people won’t punish them for having a voice.
3. They over-explain everything.
When someone’s spent years being gaslit, they get used to having to “prove” their reality. They might give way more detail than necessary when telling a story, just to make sure they won’t be misunderstood. Even when no one is doubting them, they feel the need to justify every little thing. It’s the same with making decisions, explaining why they chose something before anyone even questions them. They’re just used to having to defend themselves, even when there’s no fight to be had. Eventually, they learn that they don’t owe anyone a 10-minute breakdown of why they picked one option over another.
4. They struggle to make decisions on their own.
When every choice was once criticised, even small decisions can feel overwhelming. They might freeze up over what movie to watch or what restaurant to pick, worrying they’ll “get it wrong.” The fear of making a mistake, even when it doesn’t matter, sticks around for a while. It’s not because they don’t care or are trying to be difficult. It’s just that they got used to someone making them second-guess every move. Learning to trust their own choices again takes time, but it happens.
5. They downplay their own feelings.
After years of being told they were “too sensitive” or “overreacting,” they start believing it. They might brush off things that actually hurt, convincing themselves it wasn’t that bad. Even when something really bothers them, their first instinct is to push it aside. They might say things like, “I don’t want to be dramatic, but…” or “It’s not a big deal.” It’s just what happens when someone’s been made to feel like their emotions are an inconvenience. Eventually, they start unlearning that and realising their feelings are valid.
6. They get tense when someone’s mood suddenly changes.
People who’ve been around narcissists know how quickly things can flip. One second everything’s fine, the next, there’s tension in the air, and they have no idea why. So they get really good at noticing tiny shifts in body language, tone, or energy. It’s like an automatic response — they pick up on the smallest signs of frustration and start preparing for what’s coming. Even when no one’s actually upset, their brain still sends out a warning. Over time, they realise that not every sigh or pause means danger, but that instinct doesn’t fade overnight.
7. They can’t accept compliments to save their lives.
When someone’s been picked apart for long enough, nice words can feel… weird. Compliments don’t quite register, or they feel the need to downplay them. “Oh, this outfit? I just threw it on,” or “I got lucky, that’s all.” It’s easier to brush off praise than accept it. It’s not that they don’t appreciate it; they just don’t know how to believe it. Being treated with kindness feels foreign after being criticised for so long. Eventually, they start letting the good words sink in instead of automatically deflecting them.
8. They’re super tuned in to other people’s emotions.
Living with a narcissist means always being on high alert for their mood swings. Over time, survivors develop a hypersensitivity to other people’s emotions. They can walk into a room and immediately sense if something feels “off.” It’s not just empathy — it’s survival. They learned to read the energy of a situation to avoid conflict. But constantly scanning for signs of trouble is exhausting, and they eventually start realising they don’t have to do that with safe people.
9. They pause before answering simple questions.
Even casual conversations can feel like a test. When you’ve been with someone who twisted your words, you learn to tread carefully. Even answering “How was your day?” might come with a pause while they run through all the possible ways their response could be taken. They’re not hiding anything; they’re just used to walking on eggshells. Eventually, they get to a place where they don’t feel the need to filter themselves so much. But at first, even harmless questions can feel loaded.
10. They hate asking for help.
When someone’s been made to feel like a burden, asking for help feels impossible. They might convince themselves they should be able to handle everything alone. Even when they’re struggling, the idea of leaning on someone feels unnatural. It’s not that they don’t need support; they just don’t want to be an inconvenience. Over time, they start learning that healthy relationships involve give and take. But breaking the habit of doing everything solo takes time.
11. They get nervous when things are going too well.
For survivors, peace can feel unfamiliar. When they’re in a stable, loving relationship or things in life are actually going smoothly, a little voice in their head whispers, “This won’t last.” They’re used to good moments being followed by chaos. Even when they want to relax and enjoy things, part of them stays on guard. They seem like they don’t trust happiness because they were trained to expect the rug to be pulled out from under them. Eventually, they realise that real, healthy love doesn’t come with hidden conditions.
12. They sometimes don’t trust their own judgement.
When someone’s spent years being told they’re wrong, they start believing it. Even after leaving, they struggle to trust their instincts. “Am I overreacting?” “Am I the problem?” “What if I’m being unfair?” Making choices without second-guessing themselves feels foreign. But the more they rebuild their confidence, the more they start recognising that they were never the issue. Learning to trust themselves again is part of the healing process.
13. They feel guilty for setting boundaries.
For so long, saying “no” or putting themselves first meant backlash. Narcissists don’t respect boundaries, so survivors learned that standing up for themselves just made things worse. Even after leaving, setting limits can make them feel selfish or anxious. They might feel like they need to over-explain why they can’t do something or worry that people will be upset with them. But after a while, they start realising that boundaries aren’t mean, they’re necessary — and the right people will respect them.
14. They’re still figuring out what safe love looks like
After being conditioned to accept toxic love, healthy relationships can feel confusing. They might not trust kindness at first or feel uneasy when there’s no drama. It takes time to rewire their brain to see love as something safe, not something they have to earn. But little by little, they start recognising what real love feels like. And when they do, they realise they never have to settle for anything less again.
If the festive romance and scent of mass-produced flowers on February 14th leave you feeling more blue than rosy, you’re not alone. Here’s why, according to an expert.
Valentine’s Day, with its hearts, roses, and romantic gestures, is often hailed as a celebration of love and affection.
However, for many of us, the pressures and expectations associated with this day can contribute to stress, anxiety, frustration, disappointment and feelings of loneliness and even despair.
Valentine’s Day can be a day of pain, sadness and hurt as we watch couples display affection, treat each other and exchange gifts.
It can trigger us, impact our self-worth, make us feel more alone or like there is something wrong with us. This is especially common for those of us who have an addiction to being in love with being in love or avoidance in our intimate relationships and friendships.
The pressure of perfection
One of the primary reasons Valentine’s Day can be detrimental to our mental health is the societal pressure to create a perfect romantic experience. From elaborate dates to expensive gifts, the day is often portrayed as a benchmark for measuring the depth of one’s love.
The fear of falling short of these high expectations can lead to stress and anxiety, as individuals strive to meet an unrealistic standard set by society. Seeing social media posts of gigantic bunches of flowers, romantic picnics, expensive dinner dates and seemingly flawless relationships on platforms like Instagram and Facebook can trigger feelings of inadequacy and comparison.
This digital comparison game can exacerbate anxiety and self-doubt, leading individuals to question the validity of their own relationships or their worth if they are not part of a romantic celebration. It can also lead to disappointment and frustration, creating tension within normally healthy relationships and negatively affecting mental health.
Loneliness can be amplified
While Valentine’s Day is marketed as a day for couples and secret lovers, it can be an isolating experience for those who are single, recently separated or divorced, or those grieving the loss of a loved one. The emphasis on romantic relationships during this time can intensify feelings of loneliness and inadequacy.
Single individuals may find themselves questioning their worth or feeling left out, which can contribute to a sense of alienation that can negatively impact their mental health. Loneliness, in and of itself, is an emotion we all feel. The gift of loneliness is that we learn to reach out to others, to not suffer in silence and to not ignore it.
The toxic level of loneliness is despair and isolation and it is in this space that we begin to turn it onto ourselves with a lot of negative self-talk such as ‘I’m not enough’; ‘I don’t deserve this’; ‘I’m unimportant’ and ‘I don’t matter’. It is imperative at this point that we share how we are feeling with a close confidant or a therapist to help us navigate this painful place we find ourselves in.
Love addiction and love avoidance
When speaking of love addiction, it is often helpful to think of this as being the pursuer in a relationship. Love Addiction or the Pursuer can be described as people who seem to choose people to love who cannot or will not “love them back”. This is a very painful and compulsive behaviour that affects the love addict as well as their partners and children.
These patterns are rooted in our dysfunctional childhood experiences and result in us, as adults being attracted to people who reinforce:
our low self-esteem
our needless and wantless view of life – we rarely functionally ask for our needs or wants to be fulfilled, generally because we don’t know what they are
our perfectionism – we try to be as ‘they’ want us to be
People experiencing patterns of love addiction or avoidance can often find themselves drawn to those displaying the opposite pattern, leading to complex, toxic or dysfunctional relationships of co-dependency.
A love addict is someone dependent on, enmeshed with, and compulsively focused on taking care of another person. You may experience:
Low self-esteem and self-worth
A fear of abandonment or being alone – this is terrifying for a love addict
Difficulty with internal and external boundaries
Confusing love with neediness
Patterns of staying in, and returning to painful or unhealthy relationships
Emotional or sexual manipulation and dependency
Romantic or sexual intrigue, obsession, and fantasies
Assigning somewhat magical qualities to others in hopes of them fulfilling our fantasies
Love Avoidance can lead to you avoiding intimacy out of fear of being drained, engulfed or controlled. Many love avoidants were enmeshed or parentified as children and consequently, all intimate relationships can potentially be smothering. You might put up walls to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed, trapped or suffocated by a relationship. Many people who are love-avoidant, recognise characteristics of Love Addiction in their partner, or past partners. You might also:
Feel compelled to care for needy or troubled people, seeing yourself as a ‘wonder woman’ or a ‘white knight’
Avoid being emotionally vulnerable or fully honest in relationships
Be overly critical of your partner, viewing them as weak or resenting them for being needy
Communicate in either passive-aggressive or overtly aggressive ways
Return to relationships out of guilt or fear of abandonment, or try to find a replacement for relationships once they end
It’s completely normal to experience a flurry of emotions on Valentine’s Day. Finding authentic ways to express and receive love, free from societal expectations, can lead to more fulfilling and healthy relationships. If you are single or struggling with a romantic relationship, take some time for self-care and seek support if needed.
The answer to the above question is a resounding yes. Although, as Annie Wright observes in her article, “Brittle, Broken, Bent: Coping with Family Estrangement,” many consider even approaching the idea that family estrangement can feel good to be against all they believe.
The fact is that family estrangement can mean peace of mind that the survivor hasn’t known their entire life as they become released from the fear and drama that their family of origin has wrought upon them.
There is no doubt that family estrangement is painful, and one needs to grieve, but after a time, it becomes clear that staying away from family means freedom, independence, and safety.
It is far safer for many survivors to remain away from their family of origins because they have been guilted, invalidated, gaslighted, verbally abused, and sometimes risk their physical health being in their presence.
The Best Way to Cope, Finding a Family of Choice
Coping with family estrangement, especially during the holidays, is tough for survivors to face alone. This is why it is vital to find and form a family of choice (FOC). A family of choice offers welcome support to help from people who have your wellbeing at heart.
To be clear, a family of choice need not be a literal family as society sees it. Instead, a FOC can is a group of friends or work acquaintances, anyone who wishes to support you or needs support themselves.
A family of choice doesn’t need to be large; in fact, there are no limitations to the size of a new family. The only requirement is that you gather together as a group of people who have each other’s love and share each other’s burdens. Not only this but at Christmas time, a family of choice will also share the joy the season brings.
Forming a Family of Choice
A family of choice is a group of people who will empower you to build your self-esteem and with whom you can celebrate your life. But how do you create a family of choice? While choosing a different family to spend your time with other than your original may seem overwhelming, doing so can bring the peace of mind and joy you’ve missed all your life.
The easiest way to begin is to look at those around you. Sit down and think about the people in your life who mean the most to you, including friends, acquaintances, work relationships, and associates at your place of worship.
Once you’ve identified who you might include in your family of choice, begin to share your life with them and to show how much you care for them. You might ask the people you have identified to be your family of choice offering your support and love in return.
Be cautious not to overwhelm people or to choose people that echo the terrible behaviors of your family of origin. It would be too easy to fall prey to folks who do not deserve to be your family of choice if you are not careful because survivors, like all humans, tend to go with what they know.
The Advantages of Having a Family of Choice
No matter what, the advantages of having a family of choice when your family of origin is toxic are enormous. Having someone to stand beside you through thick and thin, when you feel lost, or when you are enjoying an accomplishment is incalculable in its value.
There are at least six advantages to having a family of choice, including those listed below.
A family of choice will make their relationships with you a high priority and not let you down. They will not make you feel guilty, show you dispassion, or ignore your needs.
A family of choice will spend time with you talking about issues both big and small, plus engaging with you so that you feel you have a voice.
A family of choice will deliberately seek opportunities to spend time with you. These activities may include shopping and taking a meal together.
A family of choice will promote spiritual and emotional wellness. They will believe in you sharing their faith and offer healing actions that show they care. This promotes improved mental health and a chance for spiritual fulfillment as well.
A family of choice will appreciate you and show you so whenever you come together with them. They will show you through behaviors, words, and gestures that prove you are worthwhile and that they love being with you.
A family of choice is capable of facing times of crisis and stress together coping with difficulties as they happen.
Finding the Positive Side of Family Estrangement by Forming a Family of Choice
Family estrangement is an incredibly painful event to experience alone. By forming a family of choice, you can open your heart and allow someone else to help you conquer the loneliness and disappointment.
Forming a family of choice means allowing others into your life and celebrating their lives with them. It means not being alone during the crisis of family estrangement and trusting someone else to be there for you.
These concepts are challenging for those of us who are survivors and have had horrific experiences with our families of origin. However, to not reach out and form relationships with others, we risk allowing our souls to suffer unimaginable harm that need not happen.
I encourage you to reach out to others around you and share your life with them. Allow them to love you and show you unconditional positive regard and show them your affection freely. After all, a family is a supportive group of people who will lift you up when you are down and celebrate your accomplishments, not necessarily those whose home into which you were born.
We sincerely hope you will include the CPTSD Foundation into your family of choice
“The family is the test of freedom; because the family is the only thing that the free man makes for himself and by himself.” ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton
When is it okay to lie to the media? by Melissa F Daly
Image – Dreamstime
The answer is: Never. Really. Lying to the press is essentially an open invitation to become an even bigger target for both journalists and the public. One of the easiest ways to give a bad story a longer shelf-life is to lie to a journalist. Equally important, lying to the press ruins your own reputation as a communications professional and that of the organization or person you are representing.
Although there are times when lying, or misleading a reporter, may seem easier and you may think it will yield a positive result, the long-term effects can be detrimental. Here, we will address three topics that may lead you down the wrong path of being dishonest with the press and how to better handle these issues.
Answering every question from the media: Depending on the whether your company is public or private, and for an individual, if you are an elected official or private citizen, every question that is asked does not have to be answered. In some cases, there are legal or regulatory reasons to choose to or not to respond. But in every instance, the answer needs to be true and consistent over the long-term. If you cannot be honest, then decline to comment. The right PR guidance and media relationship can only serve to benefit you.
You don’t want the facts to get out: The reality is that if a reporter has verifiable facts, they have the right to share what they have with the public. Facts are different than opinions or rumors and reporters work hard to adhere to the standard of presenting facts. At times, data can be manipulated to highlight a certain element of a story, but it would serve you to present your interpretation and explanation, or an updated set of facts if they are relevant. But the underlying information needs to be truthful.
A crisis or sensitive situation is gaining traction: When we get early signs that a bad story is about to come to light, it is critical that the organization’s leadership and communicators spring into action quickly. We cannot kill a story by denying the very existence of the issue or overtly downplaying what is happening. No matter the size of your organization, planning ahead with a crisis plan, including a working group, is crucial. Keep your eyes open to social media, industry events and regulatory issues that may impact your firm. Be prepared with the right messaging, supporting information and a plan of action as to how to communicate with your key stakeholders, not just the press. It is imperative to be honest and accurate with the information that you decide to divulge. Having a positive and trusting relationship with the media will go a long way in helping you and your firm.
Whether you are a spokesperson or a source working for a business, person, government entity, or non-profit, building honest and positive relationships with journalists will be the one of the best ways to ensure that your side of the story will be heard. Lying to the media will put you further under the microscope and undermine your own efforts to get a better story in the press.
The world is consuming and interacting with social media at increasingly high rates. According to 2018 data from the Pew Institute [1], the majority of U.S. adults now use YouTube (73 percent) or Facebook (68 percent); of those who use Facebook, more than half check this platform several times a day.
As we engage on social media with greater frequency, we find ourselves sifting through photos of children, commentary about food, and explosive reactions to current political events. This increased media usage and exposure poses the question: How accurate is the information we are getting? More specifically, how honest are people on social media sites?
Honesty and Lying on Social Media
The truth is that people tend to lie on these platforms. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison [2] found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2,000 people in England conducted by Custard.com [3], 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online.
Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com [4] study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent).
How and Why Does Dishonesty on Social Media Affect Us?
Although selective self-presentation and lying about ourselves on social media may not seem like a surprise (or even a big deal), it can affect us greatly. Why? Humans are naturally social creatures—we crave relationships and social interaction. According to some of the most prominent theories of human nature (e.g., Adlerian psychotherapy) and a large body of research, social interaction and feeling a sense of belonging to a community are two of the most important predictors of psychological and physical health [5]. Given our social nature, we want to feel connected to people and “in the know” about our friends, family, and even celebrities.
In addition to being social, we appear to have a natural propensity to trust that others are being honest with us. A large body of research suggests that we are programmed to trust others [6]. Although the reasons for our tendency to trust are complex, without interpersonal connectedness and a fundamental belief that those around will support you, protect you, and treat you respectfully, we feel unsafe. In essence, trust is developmentally essential to our feelings of safety and security.
When we engage on social media and our propensity to trust is met with overt lying and less than honest presentations, it can be problematic because we internally presume that what is presented is true. That people are naturally as good-looking as their photos appear on a daily basis. That people’s daily home life is as perfect as the pictures depict. That others have very few gut-wrenching struggles. That people around us are in a habitual state of going on vacation, eating out, and parenting blissfully. This is clearly not true. But although we are less aware of the realities of other peoples’ lives, we are well aware of the ways in which our own lives are NOT ideal.
Social Comparison in Social Media
To make matters more complicated, when we internally believe that what we see in social media is true and relevant to us, we are more likely to compare ourselves to it in an internal effort to evaluate ourselves against those around us (e.g., regarding our looks, wealth, significant other, family, etc.). As we do this against the idealized images and unreasonably positive life accounts that tend to permeate social media, we are likely to feel more poorly about ourselves and our lives.
Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage [7]. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues [8], participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others.
The naked truth is this: Most of us now use some form of social media. Research suggests that what people post on social media is not an accurate representation of their lives or who they are. In fact, it may be blatant lies.
Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see.
From the mesmerizing allure of charismatic leaders to the dark depths of psychological manipulation, the cult of personality phenomenon has left an indelible mark on history and continues to shape our modern world. It’s a captivating dance of power, influence, and human psychology that has fascinated scholars and laypeople alike for generations. But what exactly drives this phenomenon, and why do some individuals seem to possess an almost supernatural ability to captivate the masses?
Let’s dive into the intriguing world of cult of personality psychology, where the lines between admiration and obsession blur, and the human mind becomes a playground for those who know how to pull the right strings.
Unravelling the Cult of Personality: A Psychological Tapestry
At its core, a cult of personality is a form of intense adoration and devotion directed towards a single individual, often a political or religious leader. It’s not just about liking someone; it’s about elevating them to an almost godlike status. Think of it as fandom on steroids, with a dash of blind faith thrown in for good measure.
This phenomenon isn’t new. Throughout history, charismatic figures have emerged, capturing the hearts and minds of the masses. From ancient pharaohs to modern-day politicians, the ability to cultivate a cult of personality has been a powerful tool for those seeking to consolidate power and influence.
But why does this matter in our modern, supposedly enlightened society? Well, my friend, the cult of personality is alive and kicking, and it’s not just limited to totalitarian regimes or fringe religious groups. In fact, you might be part of one without even realizing it. From tech moguls to social media influencers, the psychology behind cult of personality continues to shape our world in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.
The Secret Sauce: Charisma and Social Influence
At the heart of every cult of personality lies a crucial ingredient: charisma. It’s that je ne sais quoi that makes some people irresistibly magnetic. But what exactly is charisma, and how does it work its magic on our brains?
Charisma is like a psychological superpower. It’s the ability to connect with others on an emotional level, to inspire and motivate, and to make people feel seen and understood. Charismatic leaders often possess a unique combination of confidence, eloquence, and empathy that draws others to them like moths to a flame.
But charisma alone isn’t enough. The real power comes from understanding and leveraging psychological influence. These leaders are masters of persuasion, using a variety of techniques to sway opinions and shape beliefs. They tap into our deepest desires and fears, offering simple solutions to complex problems and promising a better future if we just follow their lead.
It’s like a magic trick, really. While we’re busy being dazzled by their charm and grand visions, these leaders are subtly reshaping our perceptions and beliefs. And here’s the kicker: we often don’t even realize it’s happening.
The Perfect Storm: Cognitive Biases and Group Dynamics
Now, you might be thinking, “I’m too smart to fall for that kind of manipulation.” But here’s the thing: our brains are wired in ways that make us surprisingly susceptible to cult of personality dynamics.
Enter cognitive biases, those pesky mental shortcuts that can lead us astray. Take confirmation bias, for instance. We tend to seek out information that confirms our existing beliefs and ignore evidence that contradicts them. So once we’ve bought into a leader’s narrative, we’re more likely to dismiss any negative information about them.
Then there’s the halo effect, where we attribute positive qualities to someone based on one favorable trait. If a leader is charismatic and confident, we might automatically assume they’re also intelligent, honest, and competent, even without evidence to support those assumptions.
But it’s not just about individual psychology. The psychology of the masses plays a crucial role too. Humans are social creatures, and we’re hardwired to seek belonging and acceptance. When we become part of a group that follows a charismatic leader, we experience a sense of community and purpose that can be incredibly powerful.
This is where things can get a bit dicey. As we become more invested in the group, our individual identity can start to blur with the collective identity. We might find ourselves adopting beliefs and behaviors that we wouldn’t normally agree with, all in the name of fitting in and maintaining our place in the group.
The Dark Side: Narcissism and Manipulation
Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: not all charismatic leaders have our best interests at heart. In fact, many individuals who cultivate cults of personality share some rather unsavory psychological traits.
Narcissism is often at the top of the list. These leaders tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. They’re like emotional vampires, feeding off the adoration of their followers while giving little in return.
But it doesn’t stop there. Many cult of personality leaders are skilled manipulators, using a variety of tactics to maintain control over their followers. They might employ love bombing, showering new members with affection and attention to create a sense of belonging. Or they might use gaslighting, making followers question their own perceptions and memories.
These leaders often create a compelling ideological narrative, offering a simple worldview that explains complex problems and promises utopian solutions. It’s like a soothing balm for our anxieties about the world, providing a sense of certainty in uncertain times.
And here’s where it gets really insidious: these leaders are experts at exploiting their followers’ vulnerabilities. They tap into our deepest fears and insecurities, positioning themselves as the only solution to our problems. It’s a psychological trap that can be incredibly difficult to escape once you’re caught in it.
The Follower’s Journey: From Devotion to Disillusionment
So what happens to the people who fall under the spell of a cult of personality? The psychological impact can be profound and long-lasting.
One of the most striking effects is identity fusion. Followers begin to see their own identity as inseparable from the leader or the group. It’s like their sense of self gets absorbed into this larger entity. This can lead to a loss of individuality and critical thinking skills.
Cognitive dissonance is another common experience. When faced with information that contradicts their beliefs about the leader, followers often experience mental discomfort. To resolve this, they might engage in elaborate mental gymnastics to rationalize away any negative information.
Emotional dependence is also a hallmark of cult of personality dynamics. Followers come to rely on the leader for their sense of self-worth and direction in life. This can create an intense loyalty that persists even in the face of clear evidence of wrongdoing.
But what happens when the bubble bursts? When followers become disillusioned with their leader, the psychological consequences can be severe. It’s like waking up from a dream, only to find that reality is far harsher than you remembered. Many ex-cult members describe feelings of shame, confusion, and a profound sense of loss.
From Stalin to Social Media: Cults of Personality in Action
Religious figures have also been known to cultivate powerful cults of personality. From charismatic televangelists to leaders of new religious movements, these individuals often inspire intense devotion from their followers. The psychology of cults shares many similarities with political cults of personality, highlighting the universal nature of these dynamics.
And let’s not forget about the brave new world of social media influencers. These digital-age celebrities have the power to shape opinions and behaviors on a massive scale. While not all influencers cultivate cults of personality, the potential for such dynamics in the online space is significant and worthy of attention.
Fighting Back: Safeguarding Against Cult of Personality Dynamics
So, how do we protect ourselves and our society from the potentially harmful effects of cults of personality? It’s not easy, but there are steps we can take.
First and foremost, critical thinking is our best defense. We need to cultivate the habit of questioning our beliefs and assumptions, especially when it comes to charismatic leaders. This doesn’t mean becoming cynical or distrustful of everyone, but rather developing a healthy skepticism and willingness to consider alternative viewpoints.
Media literacy is also crucial in our information-saturated world. Learning to evaluate sources, spot manipulation tactics, and understand the broader context of news and information can help us resist the allure of simplistic narratives peddled by cult of personality leaders.
On a societal level, we need to foster healthy leadership models that prioritize accountability, transparency, and genuine service to others. This means moving away from the “great man” theory of leadership and towards more collaborative, inclusive approaches.
For those already caught in the grip of a cult of personality, psychological interventions can be helpful. Counselling and support groups can provide a safe space for individuals to process their experiences and rebuild their sense of self.
Finally, we need robust societal safeguards against authoritarian tendencies. This includes strong democratic institutions, a free press, and an educated populace capable of holding leaders accountable.
The Road Ahead: Understanding for a Better Future
As we wrap up our journey through the fascinating world of cult of personality psychology, it’s clear that this phenomenon is far more than just an interesting quirk of human behavior. It’s a powerful force that has shaped history and continues to influence our world in profound ways.
Understanding the psychological mechanisms behind cults of personality is crucial for navigating our complex social and political landscape. By recognizing the signs of unhealthy leader-follower dynamics, we can better protect ourselves and others from manipulation and exploitation.
But let’s not forget that charisma and strong leadership aren’t inherently bad things. When combined with genuine empathy, integrity, and a commitment to the greater good, these qualities can inspire positive change and bring out the best in people.
As we move forward, there’s still much to learn about the psychology of cults of personality. How do these dynamics play out in different cultural contexts? What role will emerging technologies play in shaping future cults of personality? These are just a few of the questions that researchers will grapple with in the years to come.
In the end, understanding cult of personality psychology isn’t just an academic exercise. It’s a vital skill for anyone who wants to navigate our complex world with clarity and purpose. By sharpening our critical thinking skills and fostering healthy leadership models, we can work towards a future where the power of charisma is harnessed for the benefit of all, rather than the glorification of the few.
So the next time you find yourself captivated by a charismatic leader or swept up in a movement, take a moment to pause and reflect. Ask yourself: Is this genuine inspiration, or am I being swept along by the currents of a cult of personality? Your answer might just make all the difference.
Read this piece. Share it with someone who needs to know they’re not alone.
Taking The Helm 