When Former Spouses Manipulate Their Children

It is a common situation when a couple divorce and the split is far from amicable that a former spouse informs others the whole marriage was a terrible experience, the other partner had ‘mental health issues’ and continue to spread malicious lies. Their agenda is to turn their family and mutual friends against the partner and come out of it as the ‘good guy’. Some will even go as far as to seek out and collude with former partners ‘fake friends’ and enemies of their ex, to give extra credence to their lies and make them more believable.

There are warning signs however when meeting a prospective partner that are not to be ignored. If for example you meet someone who describes all his ex- female partners as ‘mentally ill’ or ‘mad’, there is a high possibility that one day if your relationship ends, he will describe you in exactly the same way. He will also attempt to convince any children from the relationship to view you in this way too, and if the child wishes to keep in with their father (particularly if they have a similar personality and the father is provides financial benefits) they will please him by treating you in the same way.

The following article explains how this can happen:

Understanding Why An Ex Is Spreading Misinformation About You

Former partners can also brainwash their children and introduce ‘false memories’. For example,  a child who was well cared for, loved and nurtured by their mother could be influenced by a bitter father, who will brainwash the son into thinking he had an awful childhood and even when the child becomes an adult, they will in turn spread these false memories to their friends and family that will back up their father’s false claims. If the mother visits the adult child (for example to support them in a creative project ) and the friends they have fed the lies to are also there, they could be cruel to the mother in order to drive her away, as her kindness will cause doubt on the lies they are spreading. The adult child will cut off all contact with the mother and cite the reason for her absence is because she is ‘bad’ which is far from the truth.

The adult child could continue lying throughout their life as they were taught it is right to do so by the parent.

The following article explains this further:

Divorced Parents Who Pit Their Children Against Former Partners Guilty of Abuse

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